For 10 years this blog only reached a marginal part of it potential audience

This blog started a decade ago. The team behind has collected testimony after testimony from adults who were traumatized during their teenage years.

Fact is that there are a lot more who suffer in similar way. The human brain tries it best to hide unpleasant memories because they can destroy a person if they are brought into attention. For many the only part of the past are the nightly nightmares, where they relive the horror night after night.

It is not helping that the so-called professionals who lied to the parents hoping to score a little referal fee or the so-called caretakers hired for their muscles more than their knowledge of the often complex psycological problems the teenagers arrive with, are not brought to justice. Too many owneers of such facilities have never been forced to repay the families for their scam. Too many victims of assaults inside the residential programs have never seen the employee convicted of assault.

That is the reason so many people never have spoken out against the violence or abuse they were subjected to.

Maybe it will change.

Paris Hilton has decided to deal with her past and reveal how awful Provo Canyon School were for her. Of course the present management state that it happened under former owners but lets see in 10 years if present patients do not step forward. What she were put through was not uncommon at Provo Canyon School while she were there. An organization like HEAL-online is very much established because victims of abuse at Provo Canyon School decided to argue for a stop of the abuse.

It has created a whole new kind of press coverage of abuse in residential treatment facilities and boarding schools.

Maybe now the many testimonies collected for this blog will be read by families so they know that they have to look for more local treatment and realize that outpatient programs are very much safer so children who didn't belong in residential programs do not end up there for a few dollars in referal fee to local medical staff or educational consultant.

Trinity Teen Solutions survivors testimony

This testimony was found on Yelp. All rights goes to the author.
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I was sent to Trinity in October of 2011 and graduated the program in July of 2013. My struggles were with anxiety and depression primarily, as well as some behavioral issues. I won't downplay that I was having some very serious problems, but Trinity was NOT the solution. Trinity is a catholic based treatment center that uses a mixture of strict discipline and once a week therapy. Some of the "discipline" includes humiliating and degrading "challenges." For example, The Chair. The Chair is simple, you sit on a chair in the corner facing a wall for a minimum of two weeks without speaking to anyone, participating in any activities, or having any form of entertainment other than 3 hours of online classes a day. If you broke any of the chair rules, the punishment would be to eat a bowl of kidney beans and olives instead of a regular meal.

I got very behind in my school work at Trinity Teen Solutions, as did many of the other girls. Which is ironic, because we did school work 12 months out of the year, six days a week. We participated in online school, which served as a very poor education for two years. I had no physical teacher for TWO YEARS. When I finished my time at TTS, I struggled immensely during my last year of high school due to the poor education I received.

I could go on and on about the various things that I experienced at Trinity, but suffice it to say that I'm 23 years old and I still struggle with the memories that I have of this place, and I feel that if I spend too long ruminating over it, I'll end up in a very dark place. I have been diagnosed with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, which was something that I never struggled with before TTS. While I do understand that one needs a predisposition to exhibit this behavior, the expectation of perfection that was perpetuated at Trinity is what caused these symptoms to develop in me. I had to mentally ritualize in order to feel safe. In one particular instance while I was being assessed for their bi-weekly "Holy Cowgirl" assessments, I was so overcome with anxiety that I ended up vomiting.

Being there for so long, I obviously had a mixture of positive and negative experiences. In a way, I was forced to develop a positive attitude, because fighting the system would have gotten me no where. I feel that this review would be dishonest if I didn't at least mention some of the things that made my Wyoming experience more tolerable.

1. My therapist J.D. Although JD no longer works for TTS
2. The Animals
3. It is pretty there
4. We weren't allowed to be friends with the other patients while we were there, but afterwards I talked to these people over social media and have made some really great friendships

I felt that I did what I had to in order to survive this place. I became a different person while I was there, but not in a way that I liked. I hated the person that Trinity turned me into. And when I look back on my teenage self, I try to have some compassion for that girl, because I was doing the best that I could at that time. I needed to please the powers that be, we were constantly reminded that if we didn't behave and change, that we would be held there indefinitely. Before Trinity, I was very passionate about art and drawing, but that was stomped out of me. I was only allowed to draw on some Sundays, and given punishment if I was caught doodling during the week. None of our notebooks were private, so if I did doodle, I would inevitably be caught. So I had to stop. I only draw rarely these days out of some subconscious fear of wrongdoing or punishment. It just doesn't feel safe to me (OCD).

I supposed that I should mention the outcome. Trinity is a very controlled environment, you are not in any way exposed to the real world. We aren't even allowed to talk about our lives pre-TTS, not even in a therapy group. After Trinity, my relationship with my family was more broken than it was before. I had only seen my parents four times in my two years there. My former friends had moved on with their lives, and I've had a great deal of trouble establishing meaningful relationships with anyone. I was told to lie to people at school about where I was. So, within weeks, I had turned to alcohol. I've been struggling with alcoholism for the last five years. Again, I don't entirely blame Trinity for this, but they claim a high success rate, which is simply not true. I'm not sure how they are measuring their idea of a success rate, to be quite honest. I'm doing better now, I sought treatment as an adult at facilities that had a proper understanding of my mental illnesses and addictions, and were able to effectively treat these things. I am doing better now, it is in spite of Trinity Teen Solutions, not because of it.

Source:

• The original testimony on Yelp

Trinity Teen Solutions survivors testimony

This testimony was found on Yelp. All rights goes to the author.
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When I was sent to this place in 2005 I was terrified, dressed in rags, and broke my back as I exceeded the child labor laws times a million daily. Not saying it was a total negative experience, although most of it was due to MOST of the people running the program.

I was there for about 8 months and I had only gotten 2 school credits (this is a fact). Kids and teens get hungry because they are constantly growing; my point is that the girls do not have access to the kitchen so if we are laboring in the heat or the freezing cold we only have water no Gatorade no gronola bars nothing to feed our energy, so now this is why some girls "steal" food (if you even want to call it that since the parents are paying the program more than enough money to feed an army, I shot you not) so anyways when they would do that they would give them ridiculous punishments, such as eating cold oatmeal for all 3 meals for 3 days in a row, yuk.

There were all kinds of crazy stuff they did. I personally was told that I had to tie myself to this other girl with a rope and we had to be tied together with a rope connected to our belt loops all day long until bedtime. This went on for 5 months. Then at one time, I had to care for that Saint Bernard dog you see in the pictures, only when bedtime came along I was not allowed to sleep in my bed, they made me sleep on the floor with the dog without a pillow or a blanket. I did not get the sleep I needed during that time and I still had to labor all day, that is if I wanted to eat real food. They ALWAYS use food as a punishment even though it says right there in the cowgirl manual that they will NOT use food as a punishment. These people like to contradict themselves, and if you think for one minute that Angie and Jerry (the owners) don't know what's going on think again because they do know and they don't care.

I was upset one night and so I just started running down the dirt road, they came after me in the truck and slammed me down On The ground. Now after this happens the staff preceded to tie up my entire body in a thick heavy rope and threw me in the back of the truck and drove back up to the cabins. I didn't know what the hell was going on and then I over heard them talking about locking me in the shed and they didn't do that because there were nails sticking out of the walls and so they thought I was going to kill myself ( and that's something I would never do, I was simply PISSED) but can you blame me? First of all I already had been traumatized before I went to this place and they just made things worse for me.

I'll tell you all something, ANYBODY can go and get a job that's meant for helping people, just to go for the money, and OR to make others miserable because they are miserable. There are a lot of crooked COPS, and many other titles. I really hope I can get through to many parents out there. One more memory is about this thing they put us through called "Pig Shifts" which means; after the mother pig gives birth, the girls are paired up and every pair has a set time each day or night or early AM to watch the piglets to make sure the momma does not crush them. Each shift would run 3 hours at a time. My pig shift was from 2am to 5am mind you that us two girls had to walk across a huge field about a mile and a half long in the middle of the night in the pitch dark knowing that a mountain lion was spotted by the neighbor, and we heard this from staff. Now we were not allowed to go to sleep until 9:30pm each night we had the option to stay up a little later but I was always so exhausted I had wished I could have gone to sleep earlier, especially with pig shifts and then laboring all day. One more thing I forgot to mention is that they like to make us run everywhere on top of the pig shifts, the daily labor, and the lack of nutrition.

Another important memory I must share; we went hiking in the mountains (very beautiful) anyways, once we had gotten to Deep lake we were to put our food up into the trees before we would camp for the night as there are REAL BEARS where they bring the girls. So I had put my food in the sack to go up into the tree and we were about to go to sleep and I had forgotten that I had a small Gatorade packet in my pocket ( yes the one time we actually got this type on stuff on hiking trips) so I was worried because I didn't want to get eaten by a bear so I told staff right away and it was a simple mistake but they got mad at me, so then I went to burry it away from the campsite to be safe. Then the next morning because of what happened with me and that Gatorade packet the night before the staff refused to let any of us eat breakfast, and this was the day after a very long and strenuous hike. Thank you God Bless

Source:

• The original testimony on Yelp