Antiwwasp.com has been relaunced as antiwwasp.us. Unfortunately without the testimonial part and as a message board only.
The following is a day in the life of a male tb student. This brings back many memories. Well here we go. Your day starts at if I remember correctly at 0730 am. You are woken up by a shouting staff member. Sometimes they clang pots and pans other times just yelling. After wake up you only have 2 min to be in the court yard for head count. Head count can take as short as 3 min or as long as an hour. (I swear Jamaicans can't count.) After head count you would return to your rooms to clean them. This would include making four beds. (The bed folds down from the wall. it is 3/4 in plywood and a stained mattress maybe a sheet or two if you were lucky.)
After cleaning it varied by family. My family the renaissance went to shower. The shower consists of 12 showers. They had dividers but no hot water. The water flood down the 12 stalls to the end stall. Never be the guy in the end stall. Water backs up and if you feel warm water well someone peed in the shower. Total time from wake up to shower 1 hour. On some days you had wash cloths and shower. Washing cloths consists of a bucket and soap. Hands wash all cloths and hang dry. Mind you the infamous septic tank is near the cloths line. I say infamous because every day it would overflow. If the wind came up the cloths would fall off the line. (Only about 100 cloths pins for the whole group.) After showering we went up to group. This is where we were given points for out reflections (will discuss later.) this took about an hour.
So now after 2-3 hours we finally get to eat. We all line up in the court yard and get ready to go into breakfast. This is the best part for the family "father" ours had a thing called a water bottle inspection. (You carried around a 1 pint water bottle all day.) If your water bottle was 1/2 full or less you went to work sheets. Just for the water bottle.
After breakfast it was time for "school." school consisted of going to the top floor finding your school book and studying a chapter at a time. At your own speed. Some people could crank out 4-8 chapters a day. Others maybe 1 a week. If you could not get one a day you were sent to worksheets. So if you have a learning disability like me, (ADD) you are screwed. There is a teacher there. Not sure if they are an actual teacher. Don’t ask for help they will tell you to study harder.
After 1-2 hours of school (sorry for not being exact 5 years is a long time.) we went to lunch. After lunch we went to P.E. which consisted of finding your shoes in the shoe bin. (You wear sandals there so you don’t run away.) If you had good shoes more than likely they would be stolen. Or P.E. area consisted of a tennis court, 3 rackets no balls, a basket ball court made of asphalt that was not compacted so sharp rocks stuck up. More than one basket ball was lost due to this. The other option that you had was run, pushups, or if you were level 3+ you could use the weights. ( weights consist of a bar and enough weights to get to 200 lbs.
After P.E. off to the showers again. if you were lucky enough to be there for the dry spells you got water out of the well. the well is a large cistern. algae all the way around. mind you this is water to shower with cook with DRINK ( I remember pulling a dead cat out and still having to drink the water.) this time only about 15 min for 2 families. families had about 20 members. if you were the last ones in the shower hurry up because you have to be done in 15 min or they shut the water off. you have to walk around all day with soap all over your body. After that back to school. After school dinner. After dinner you go back up stairs watch a motivational movie and do reflections. reflections consists of motivational tapes that are played at each meal and the video. you than turn them in and go outside for final head count. Finally after head count off to bed. This is a normal life in the day of a student at T.B. I will add later the life of a TB student in worksheets and op later.
The best way to describe the location is on a point jutting out of the island. Nothing around. A small town maybe a mile or two away. Right on the edge of the big blue ocean. Lots of goats all around. And where there is wild life there is a lot of feces. Watch where you step. I really can’t remember much about the location as I have tried to block it out of my mind for over 5 years. Sorry guys. Nice sunsets if you can block the sound of screaming children. (Yes after a while there you can do that and much more to distance yourself.)
As for my overall experience, let’s just say PTSD (post traumatic stress disorder) is a lot of fun thanks to that place. Living in fear every day took its toll. When I was there people had, far a lack of words, trench foot aka foot rot. Wonderful smell. The cure? Don’t know. All they gave us was backtrobon. Didn’t do much but mask the sent. I had an infection on my leg that was the size of a pencil eraser. It was so infected that it oozed yellow greenish fluid all day every day. Even through a bandage. When I got home and had a doctor look at it guess what! Tons of antibiotics some injections some sample taking and the best part, after cleaning out the wound he could see my tendons!! 1/ 2 a freaking inch deep!!!!! I still don't have any musical growth there. It’s discolored and droops inward. Lots of fun. Nightly activity, being put to sleep while hearing the sounds of screaming kids. Hours on end. The staff laughed at it. It was sheer hell. No other way to describe it.
I was there when the girl never did get her name but may she rest in peace and harmony with the angels that took her to heaven after her stay in hell, committed suicide the exact date was 8/11/01. Swan dive off a three (3) story building onto the concrete pavement bellow. My question is this, where was the staff? Great environment? That led her to do such a thing. What were we told "oh, someone fell but it was not that bad." till you saw the blood stain on the pavement. Brain matter was all over the place. I still hear the screams of the girls. It sends shivers down my spine. After the suicide attempt, we had a 1/2 group the next day just for that subject. After the half an hour we were told never to speak of it again. God rest her soul. And the souls of all the others. That place is nothing like they claim. If it was why did she commit suicide and so many others try. Some wanted the attention yes, I will give you that. But when someone cuts their wrists and needs a lot of stitches to stop the bleeding? I tried the wrists deal once. My friend stopped me. Thank god for him. There life had no meaning. It was merely for the staff’s amusement. God save the kids there. Before more die. If there are parents reading this, be advised there are many suicide attempts and suicides there. And it’s not because we are troubled. We just want the pain to end. Not emotional pain but real pain. Physical emotional environmental. Death would have been a welcome relief to me there. I would have enjoyed it far too much. An attempt that I tried was to hyperventilate for about 2 min and than push in on my corroded arteries then I passed out. Luckily I did recover. Lucky now back than I was hoping for death even embracing the feeling.
O.P. (observation placement.) ah yes. 6-8 people in an 8X10 room. (Mind you I paced it off and wrote it in a book. not sure how accurate my paces are.) We were in there like cord wood. No open windows no fan. 100 deg days. If only you could smell it. You slept in the hall ways. This was not a bad thing as it was much cooler in the hall ways than in the rooms.
Wake up was at 0700 you wake up and put your mattress back and go up stairs till the others are done with their chores. Than you go to the op room. You lay on your face until breakfast arrives. You eat breakfast and lay back on your face. Repeat with lunch and dinner. At 800pm (2000) it’s everyone favorite time. P.E. depending on the mood of the staff it would be something along the lines as follows. To start 100 three count jumping jacks all in unison. Any one falls out of count we all start over again. Then 50 unison pushups. Again fall out and start at one on the jumping jacks. After the push ups comes the sit ups. 100-150. same as before fall out of rhythm, well you get the idea. To finish it up another 50 three count jumping jacks. Mind you some times we did not get to sleep until 3-5 am. Wake up at same time. Now if you act up in op, you get restrained. The proper method, after looking it up after the program, is a person on every limb and has the individual facing up words. Man I wish that the staff would have done that. Most of the time this is how it wound up. Mind you this is from 5 years ago 2001. The staff would pick you up and take you to another room. They would have between 5-6 staff there. They would lay you down face down cross your ankles than fold your legs back at the knee. After the first fold at the knee they would than try and fold you back at the hips. Mind you theism is over your back. And for your arms, I'm sure you all have seen COPS where the officer has the individuals arm up behind their back. This is done for two reason number ones for control and number two because they can pull up and put you in pain. The Jamaican staff apparently did not know the first on as they only used the second.
You also had one, about the mid weight class, sitting on your back or having his knee in you back. This would go on for however long they wanted. No set time limit. 10 20 30 min or even 2-3 hours. Some times they would not let you up until you made a false omission of guilt. Such as I was the one who ate your food Mr. so and so. Then of course you would be given a longer stay in op for the statement you made. I have heard of kids with broken bones and dislocated joints. I apparently was one of the lucky ones. I only received strains and pulled muscles. After a long time there you learn to distance your self from the pain or you learn to love the pain. To each their own. I am still haunted by the screams. All hours of the day and night. I would cry myself to sleep knowing that there was nothing I could do. The screams of the brothers of mine will never be forgotten. If you do not believe me look at the Tbfight.com link on the home page of Antiwwasp.com and read the comments. God save my brothers and sisters there.
Worksheets. Now I encourage parents of students to try this. If you are coming out of OP you have 5 essays to write. Every cat 2 is one essay. What is an essay? It is this. 5000 words on why you did what you did. No more than 15 word a line no less than 9. And remember that at any time the staff can take your essay and make you start over. Have you ever written 5000 words in a day by hand? You have to write on your lap hunched over. Oh the back pain. Just try it. As for the food, you got what the family ate but in about 1/2 the portion. At times the food could be up to an hour or two late. And as always there was always something missing. Whether it is the main course, or the milk, or the juice. But what ever you do not question them if they forgot it. The reason why is because they hand out all the food. If you questioned them than somehow the staff would always stumble and drop your food on the ground. And if they did, well unless you eat at least 1/2 your meal you get a cat 5 for suicide attempt and go to op. yep eat it off the floor. Even soup. No replacement food. Not once did they ever replace food that they spilled. If they spilled your milk or juice. They did not care. At least you didn't have to drink 1/2 of that.
Your journal. According to the staff they can not read your journal. However they will take it from you and read it because you might want to "commit suicide." sot they read it and when they find out that you are not happy with one of the staff they make sure you are put with that staff. They will also take your journal away from you and refuse to give it back.
The pool. Yes believe it or not it does have a pool. In my long stay, we used the pool once and only once. Kind of dirty but it felt good to float around for a while.
FUN DAY. Yes there is a reliving day (at least when I was there.) Then Ken Kay had us sign up for contests. Such as swimming, arts and crafts, singing, and than at the end he had a DJ play about 1/2 hour of music for us. We were taken a back! We thought our luck had changed. Then when we saw a group of people leaving and Ken Kay said lets give the people from the US embassy a thank you for coming we realized what was going on. That is why it is called a reloving day. Whenever high ranking people schedule a visit we clean the place top to bottom new clothe and sheets new books, the works. As soon as they leave no outside cleaning nothing till someone comes again. We made the commit to ourselves "why don't they just show up and than look around." the reason, WWASP wouldn’t let them because the embassy has to make an appointment. Can’t explain it.
Letters to the embassy. Letters to the embassy goes something like this. You can write a letter to the embassy and the staff has to give it to the embassy. Whether they do or not I don't know. That’s up to them.
Time. Time does not exist in that place. You measure time by days weeks, months, years. Not minutes or hours. Time is your enemy. A person can go insane there. Many people "louse themselves" there.
Other than "normal religions." this can consist of many religions or beliefs. There was a member of my family that believed that God was a female. Oh man, our group mother was pissed. She tried to convince him that he was wrong but he stuck to his beliefs. She ripped him a new a hole. We also had a brother who was a Wiccan. She called him a devil worshiper and again tore him a new a hole. When asked why she disagreed with them she replied "just like in the program there can only be one religion and set of rules. That is the way of things are and that is t the way it should be."
As for the religious practice of worship. "Do it by your self." why well you have to talk only to a level 3 or higher so if you want to talk about religion, get on level3. Never made it there though. That’s kind of why I don’t go today. If they can’t express religious freedom there I will not either until they all come home. And to the catholic parents out there I am a 4th degree knight of Columbus. And I am very proud of that title.
After coming home and looking back at my stay I realized something that I thought I would never say. I did learn a lot of helpful things in the program. Do they outweigh the PTSD that I also got from there? I do not believe so. I also learned that every one who was there will some day have the feelings that I have. You learn self preservation there. You do what you must to survive or you give up hope. As you can tell for me it was to give up hope of life. In the book all quiet on the western front there is a quote on the last paragraph of the book. I read that book before, during and after the program and I would like to read it to you now. This is what I felt every day in the program and after each reoccurring night mare that I have.
"He had fallen forward and lay on the earth as though sleeping. Turning him over one saw that he could not have suffered long. His face had an expression of calm as though almost glad the end had come."
I am haunted to this day by the memories that I lived through. I will never forget the horrors that I went through. After surviving that place you feel older than others in my age group which is a common complaint with survivors. You also have trouble with making friends and trusting people for a long time after words. I made a promise to my friends that I left behind. I promised that I would let the world know the horrors that go on there though it may be 5 years late here it is.
As my tag name says, I am a first responder. I have WWASP for that. While in the program I decided to dedicate my life to, in my opinion, they turned their back on. And that thing is cherishing human life. We call each other brothers and sisters because we have gone through more than any of you other than military veterans could even begin to know. I may die tomorrow in my line of work. I want the world to know what I went through so no other individual has to go through it. I will never be the same person I was before. Mo matter how hard I try. There is a country song that says you don’t know me any more. I believe the name is "I just got back from a war." this describes what I feel every day. I feel as though I am an out cast in society. The only place I feel a sense of belonging is with the other survivors on our website. Only those who have been there and know the feelings can judge me. No parent can know the pain in my heart and mind. Please do not try and tell me that I am just trying to hurt the program. For you see the program took a piece of me. Not only that but it took my youth. WWASP makes you something that no one can describe. You must feel it to understand it. If you have not been there and lived there for some time do not tell me well it’s a good program. I will tell you it has good intentions but not good quiltys. How can a place where even the newspapers say they hear screaming and those children under 18 commit suicide stay open??? Be aware, some pictures can look nice but when you see the place in real life you realize "hay, I’ve been misled and lied to!!!
On Tbfight.com the first pictures are what are in the brochure. The last ones where you see our brothers in khakis are the true TB. Why won't the show you the real pictures in the brochure? If they hide that what else are they hiding???? Make an informed decision before you judge me and my brothers and sisters. For you see you will never know us, nor will you ever understand what we have gone through.
This is just some insight into my life at tranquility bay.
Tranquility Bay closed sometime in 2009
References:
Datasheet about the boarding school from the Fornits Wiki database
The original story (Cached version of antiwwasp.com - may take a while to load)
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