Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Dom-parents: quasi-parents?

When a young teenager enters a boarding school the most important persons in the life of such a young person are missing. The guidance and comfort provited by the parents are not there. Instead the teenager has to rely on the presence of residential advisers or dorm parents who are expected to quasi-parent all the teenagers in the boarding school.

But can they support every one of the teenagers at the boarding school with respect for their individual needs and maintaining their dignity?



It is an almost impossible question to answer. The employees at a boarding school should always take into consideration that there will be a day when the students return home to their family. While many teenagers struggle in the start of their stay most adapt to whatever environment the school can present. In fact the mecanism is not so much a question whether the school provide a good atmosphere to work in. The Stockholm-syndrome becomes the deciding factor. The students stop to ask questions because the norms at the school becomes their reality. They will be ready to accept orders which they would never have accepted outside the boarding school.

One fine example is the 2011 capsize in Denmark where students from a boarding school named Lundby Efterskole sailed out in a dragon boat in icy waters. A boat not suited to this hostile environment. 7 students ended up in critical condition and may use years to recover. A teacher died.

The students entered the boat willingly. They were broken by the isolation from normal social norms.

They were not troubled teenagers. The isolation was minimal and they could go home most weekends. Still they were caught by the dangerous macho culture at the boarding school and many of them could have very easily have paid for this with their young lives.

Parents: Please do some background checks on the employees. Break rules at the boarding school when it comes to restricting communication. It could save the life of your child.

References:
Boarding schools on Wikipedia
Danish Dragon boat capsized by wave (Politiken)
Stockholm syndrome

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