13 years ago close to this day- I was released from the place listed in the article below. I spent 30 days of terror -29 nights of horror, thinking "If this is HELL- then it couldn't get much worser".
A 1k dollar night stay in the motel sitting in basically no where- set the scene for one of the terrifying horror movies I ever had the pleasure of staring in.
After 13 years there are just experiences some of us never truly get over. The experience Im about to share is not like losing your first love, ruining your favorite t-hirt w/ grape juice, or getting in a fight with your best friend- it's more like experiencing the loss of a child- the loss of your sanity- it was like being raped mentally over and over again.
Close your eyes and imagine the following:
Its dark, cold, and 3am- you wake up every night to hearing the girls outside screaming in pain over and over again. You try to help but are warned if you do they will do the same to you. Listening from your room you are forced to hear the girls on the other side of the wall begging for staff to stop hurting them. The claim torture, rape, they beg for mercy, but never find it.
From being drugged and sleeped deprived for 3 nights and 4 days you are forced to watch and listen to how this will soon be your own experience.
You attempt to tell your parents, but your nothing more to them than a rabbied dog who's gone wild. Parents being manipulated into believing their pets could be trained into the way they always wanted them. You don't go to church enough they say, this is happening to you because you lost faith they claim.
[Since when did GOD seem to think it was ok for girls to be drugged, tortured, sleep deprived, manipulated, forced to piss themselves, while being mentally & physically raped by adult men.]
The nightmare continues...There's nothing you can do to stop it, you think your voice counts but it doesn't, you have no say- you have no vote- cause in the end not even the government will do anything about it. For years before your attendance and many years after these practices continued.
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Tucking these memories under a rug and pretending it never happen is the greatest performance I have ever given. To be forced to pretend everyday this didn't happen is the hardest thing to do.
Every year around this time I'm reminded of those who have committed suicide as their pain was just to much to bare from their time here. I'm reminded of those who reverted back to drugs and alcohol who never found the psychological support they needed so much.
My message this year is to those of you who are still surviving what happened here Regardless of the year you attended.... I know you may still be suffering, but you can still overcome what happened.
If you are not living to your full potential- then start!
Don't give up in the fight, don't allow the pain of this place and its memories define you and where you are going.
Remember you are strong, you are brave, and most of all continue to hold on to life with everything you can.
Don't give up in your fight to move on.
Be a friend to someone new, drive yourself to be better than those who have wronged you, and may you persevere in anything you pursue.
Life is to short to waste it- so make the best of what you have left to count-
Do this not because you have too -but because you are worth it.
To my fellow survivors you are not alone, keep surviving, keep pursing, and keep holding onto the dream that one day your life is more that just a debut in this place of horrors
Source:
Troubled Teen Supergroup (Facebook)
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