Its strange to see how many people are posting on here that attended this school with me. Jesse wood was actually my first guide and crew leader for quite some time. I find it curious how such a topic got started and why you are all here. I found myself writing a paper for english class about reform schools and was suprised to actually find a topic on the school I happened to attend. As for the matter at hand I personally would not suggest sending your kid here.
From personal experience I feel that I was one of the fortunate ones in the aspect that I was not subjected to some of the nasty business that went on there. For parents looking to send their children here I would say that much of the claims being made here are true to some degree. Like others have mentioned being at that place changes you in a very gradual way. When you first enter the program you are the same person as when you left home just in a different place. It isnt until you adjust and realize that this place is your home for an unknown amount of time that you start to change. I feel the change stems from the fact that everything you had and lived for had been taken away from you.
It is no secret that the introduction process is meant to basically break you and make you into a clean slate that they can work with. Everyone starts out on the same level and depending on their attitude can work their way up through leadership. In doing research for my paper I came across the term stockholm syndrome which I feel accurately describes why people who go there do not want to leave. As someone who was tricked into going I was completely crushed when I understood what was going on. My emotions were all over the place, and I was not even able to be angry or sad or sorry for my actions that led me to that place. One thing that really stuck with me was that these students helping the staff take me in looked at me with disgust. My peers who were there for reasons usually far worse than mine scowled at me. Treated me like I was the scum of the earth and showed no sympathy even though however long ago they were in the same position as I. Then without my realizing it had happened, I had become what had bewildered me. I had become the one slamming kids into the ground and forcing their noses onto surfaces. At the time I thought I was doing what was right and wanted nothing more than to please my superiors.I was helping to uphold the very system I thought so unjust.
When you go up in leadership there are certain privileges that go along with it that make it a highly sought after position. For me it was the feeling of being in control over my situation again. This is about the time where I feel stockholm syndrome came into play and here is a quote describing what I feel to very accurately describe what happened,"Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they no longer become a threat". By conforming to the rules and standards set by the staff I had worked myself into a position where I was in my mind "safe" from the system. The only thing it cost me was my dignity.
The things I did to my peers as a crew leader pale in comparison to the stories I heard from students of former generations. Fortunately for my conscience I really did care for those under my supervision and tried to hold myself to a standard I could take pride in. Unfortunately as those in anchor would say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and such was the case for me. My compliance to go along with such activities did not leave anchor entirely to blame. At any point I still had a choice to say no... but I didn't. I had become caught up in the web of this place that had become my life. Their standards were my standards and my old standards and morals were wrong.
It really is sickening to look back at those poor souls who were unable to follow the rules. Unfortunately at the time I showed no sympathy..it was initiation
Sources:
- The original testimony on topix.com
- Factsheet about the Academy (Fornits Wiki)
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