Showing posts with label Texas. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Texas. Show all posts

Sunday, June 12, 2016

Eric at Anchor Academy

This testimony was found on Topix.com. All rights goes to the original author Eric Marchant

Jordan, is your last name Crawford. Well, i most certainly agree that the degree of punishment endured at Anchor Academy by many of the students was boader line auztwhich tourture tactics. They system eventully turns many of the the students into the same kind of monster. When a student "gets saved" and works their way to a promotion ( crew leader , dorm leader ), they become the next generation of born again sadists. The cycle turns victims into victimizers. I know from exprience the horrors of red shirt.

I also served as a crew leader in the program, and treated many new students with the same inhumane disrespect i also encountered as a new student. It shows how deranged leadership and authority can feed off of this cycle, Hitler convinced a nation that the hebrew people deserved the holocost and he was able make them actively participate. It shows how primitive man can be. No student was ever killed at Anchor Academy and I am a happily married man with children today. So dont interpret this post as a complaint, rather let it serve as insight from an experienced alumni of Anchor Academy. I respect all opinions, but i only ponder opinions that are resonable. So someone like John, who posted a comment in defense of the sick practices of this program, in my opinion, has never matured mentally. I hope he is not a father. I feel mixed emotions when i think back in tim to those years. I feel regret for any harm i caused anyone as an active goon for bro Dennis, i feel scarred by those black days and nights on red shirt, and i feel a fondness for many of the students i befreinded during those years.

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Sunday, May 8, 2016

UGH at Anchor Academy

This testimony was found on Topix.com. All rights goes to the original author known as UGH

This place was hell. Anyone who reads this will know who I am, but I don't really care. I've been out of that place for eight years and I still have nightmares of being sent back - I'm in my mid-twenties now. That place was like a soul-sucking leech pit. And it wasn't just any one person's fault - you throw some misguided teens, adults and fanatical religious types into a room together and you're going to get some 'Lord of the Flies' shit without a doubt.
l have severe social anxiety, physical mobility issues (my back hurts constantly) and it is because of the near constant abuse I faced in this place. I'll admit a lot of it was my own doing - but then again, what fourteen year old kid doesn't buck up at authority? And I wasn't sent there for drugs or because I was in trouble with the law - I've never been in legal trouble in my life. I was sent there because my grandparents couldn't get me to go outside and play and I was obese; because I was rebellious to my mother who has a long history of drug abuse, the which had already taken it's toll on me. In short, I was sent there because my family didn't have room for me anymore.
Out of the frying pan and into the fire.

Not to mention I'm gay as a three-dollar-bill - throw a confused, terrified fag into a group of christian teenage boys and see how well he does. I was the fish in the barrel for most guys at that place, though a lot proved to be decent and kind.

The reality of it is, abuse aside, if you're looking for a program to stick your unwanted child just do the kid a favor and emancipate his ass. Trust me, he's better off without you anyways. As far as those parents/families that actually care for their kids and want to help them, try reaching out and talking to them - jeez. Stop looking for quick-fix-it programs where you ship your kids away like busted blenders and get back the newest, shiniest model. It doesn't work. Your kids are people, not freaking hardware to be replaced and reprogrammed when you don't like their life choices. Believe me, if they're going to get into trouble, sending them to a program isn't going to do anything but delay the inevitable.

Get off your lazy asses and love your damn kids - stop expecting others to do it for you because you're crappy parents.


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Sunday, April 10, 2016

"Human" and BHodge at Anchor Academy

This testimony was found on topix.com. All rights goes to the author known as "Human"

I was at the Anchor Academy for 2 months shy of 2 years. They are fanatical in "Christian" beliefs, are physically and mentally abusive, education is primitive at best, and they force-feed religion of their own sect on the impressionable minds of teens and young adults, all the while in the name of God and their own justified actions; putting not only the Bible's morals, but their own, on God's level, and judge the same according to both. The Bible called these people Pharisees and hypocrites for the same. This being said, I hadn't prior to my stay, nor post-stay, failed in my life to become a cretin of any sort, and am currently a productive member of society with a great family, child, and job, absolutely no thanks to the Anchor.

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This testimony was found on topix.com. All rights goes to the author known as Bhodge

Hey, everyone like Adam, Sam Wood, and others in the early part of '04, I was not there for, but I was there for Jordan Harrell, Curtis Watson, Ryan Sessions, on and on.

I know for a fact that is was MUCH worse even the months prior to my Nov.'04 admittance, and I'll admit I had it easier, but it by far was not easy, and I shuddered at stories that Tim Ballard, Deery, Cody Beals, Elerbrach, and others told from days of the past. I spent 2 years there and got sent home after a bad car accident that almost took my life at the hands of a staff member.

Personally, being 16, that's scary stuff, now, I look back, and it's all a learning experience. Fact: Anchor is messed up a lot of ways. You deny that? Then you were there I the 7 years or were in a place of authority....or on the good side of Bro. D. Now, there's a moderation for everything. I think the kids that got in trouble MOST of the time deserved it, but here's my problem: some kids got in trouble when they didn't deserve it,'cause his guide or crew leader was told they needed to be harder on them....put that in the hands of a 14-18 year old and what do ya get? Power trips! Everyone remembers someone like that, and that's a bad rep.

Now for the kids that actually deserved getting in trouble: does not mean they deserve the extent punishment they were given. Prior to the academy, I was a bad kid, but I didn't change because of the academy. There was more bad than good, but I learned ya really gotta "eat the meat and spit out the bones""with a grain of salt" all in one. I learned very little from that place. The largest being, what not to act like or send your kid too. Parents, if you really love your kids, don't send them here. Do you honestly think after 10 years people would still urging you to NOT send your kids there if it didn't have a fairly negative impact on said individuals? That being said, I made it out on the other side of the "A-hole" very well. Food for thought.




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Sunday, March 13, 2016

A mother about her sons stay at Anchor Academy

This testimony from a mother of a former student at Anchor Academy was found on topix.com. All rights goes to the original author

As a mother of a child that I sent there, I know first hand of the abuse that goes on there.

I made a huge mistake by ever those people to have anything to do with my child. My son is doing excellent but not because of this place. They took a great deal of money from us as well. My child had nightmares for years after leaving that place.

And yes there is abuse taking place there. Peanut butter sandwiches do NOT provide adequate nutrition for the amount of extensive exercise that these kids are forced to endure. I could go on for hours of things that happened in that place while my son was there including tying children up. There are much better programs out there. I was also told they had no connection to rolloff homes in which they are. I was told a great deal of lies when leaving my child there. I have to live with that choice everyday of my life. Thank God he protected my child.

This is not a just place. They hide behind the bible. Punishment does not fit the crime at all. So unless you have had first hand knowledge of the things that go on there and that doesnt mean just by going to church there because I assure you, YOU DONT KNOW EVERYTHING that goes on there.. You really have NO room to even comment on the blog. Because you have NO idea!!! And trust me Having to eat ONE peanut butter sandwich and water for every meal is not even the icing on the cake as to the abuse that goes on there. The only reason I did not press charges against the place and cause a huge blow up is because I didnt want my child to have to relive the experiences in that place.

He is an adult now doing exceptionally well loving life and praising God.



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Sunday, February 28, 2016

Drake at Anchor Academy

This testimony was found on Topix.com. All rights goes to the orignal author

Its strange to see how many people are posting on here that attended this school with me. Jesse wood was actually my first guide and crew leader for quite some time. I find it curious how such a topic got started and why you are all here. I found myself writing a paper for english class about reform schools and was suprised to actually find a topic on the school I happened to attend. As for the matter at hand I personally would not suggest sending your kid here.

From personal experience I feel that I was one of the fortunate ones in the aspect that I was not subjected to some of the nasty business that went on there. For parents looking to send their children here I would say that much of the claims being made here are true to some degree. Like others have mentioned being at that place changes you in a very gradual way. When you first enter the program you are the same person as when you left home just in a different place. It isnt until you adjust and realize that this place is your home for an unknown amount of time that you start to change. I feel the change stems from the fact that everything you had and lived for had been taken away from you.

It is no secret that the introduction process is meant to basically break you and make you into a clean slate that they can work with. Everyone starts out on the same level and depending on their attitude can work their way up through leadership. In doing research for my paper I came across the term stockholm syndrome which I feel accurately describes why people who go there do not want to leave. As someone who was tricked into going I was completely crushed when I understood what was going on. My emotions were all over the place, and I was not even able to be angry or sad or sorry for my actions that led me to that place. One thing that really stuck with me was that these students helping the staff take me in looked at me with disgust. My peers who were there for reasons usually far worse than mine scowled at me. Treated me like I was the scum of the earth and showed no sympathy even though however long ago they were in the same position as I. Then without my realizing it had happened, I had become what had bewildered me. I had become the one slamming kids into the ground and forcing their noses onto surfaces. At the time I thought I was doing what was right and wanted nothing more than to please my superiors.I was helping to uphold the very system I thought so unjust.
When you go up in leadership there are certain privileges that go along with it that make it a highly sought after position. For me it was the feeling of being in control over my situation again. This is about the time where I feel stockholm syndrome came into play and here is a quote describing what I feel to very accurately describe what happened,"Identifying with the aggressor is one way that the ego defends itself. When a victim believes the same values as the aggressor, they no longer become a threat". By conforming to the rules and standards set by the staff I had worked myself into a position where I was in my mind "safe" from the system. The only thing it cost me was my dignity.

The things I did to my peers as a crew leader pale in comparison to the stories I heard from students of former generations. Fortunately for my conscience I really did care for those under my supervision and tried to hold myself to a standard I could take pride in. Unfortunately as those in anchor would say the road to hell is paved with good intentions, and such was the case for me. My compliance to go along with such activities did not leave anchor entirely to blame. At any point I still had a choice to say no... but I didn't. I had become caught up in the web of this place that had become my life. Their standards were my standards and my old standards and morals were wrong.

It really is sickening to look back at those poor souls who were unable to follow the rules. Unfortunately at the time I showed no sympathy..it was initiation



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Sunday, February 7, 2016

Samuel at Anchor Academy

This testimony was found on Topix. All rights goes to the original author

I have not even thought about the Anchor Academy for a looong time. My wife asked me today what the name of the school was cause one of her friends new someone that was attending a boys home in Montana. It was obviously not the same school since its not in Montana anymore. Anyway I ended up doing a many hour search on the Anchor Academy and found this along the way......

THE TRUTH....

First of to Ronnie. You are ignorant. Thats all I have to say to you..

I want to start out by saying that I used the system of the Academy to best keep myself out of trouble and to be in a leadership role so I didnt have to listen to the leaders who I felt were not near as smart as me. That may sound arrogant, but its true.

I hurt many people while I was at the Academy and I fell terrible when I think about the stuff that I was involved in. During the time that I was there I witnessed with my own eyes what went on behind the curtain of what parents saw. Jordan and Adam and Id rather not say are right and true. Any counselor that was there during the the times I was (Dec. 2002 to June 2004) and says there was no abuse is not telling the truth. I dont know how it is ran now 6 years down the road. But I know it cant be 100% abuse free from what I witnessed in the past.

The punishments of the Anchor when I was there were not meant to be helpful, but to tear the person down. They would tear to the point that you were so low you had nothing else to do but 'improve'. Their goal was to inflict pain on those who were involved.

PT (physical training) was designed to hurt you beyond what you thought your body could handle and then add 100 rockets on top that(people who were there know what a rocket is, they would make people cry at there mention). Or duck walk until literally cant even stand straight for awhile. Some people who were there were in PT for 30 minutes every morning before the rest of the boys got up and for a few hours on weekends. Remember what I just described Anchor PT as. It was not constructive. On top of this the kids that were living on Peanut Butter sandwiches for 3 meals a day topped of with a nice glass of water could not have been properly Nourished for the amount of physical activities they were going through.

Abuse. To say that there was no Abuse is like saying there is no such thing as the Anchor Academy. I will say briefly some of the stuff I saw. I saw the Foxy . A group of 5 kids who cheated in school made to go through a week of German style punishment. They were made to look like fools in front of everyone. People made fun of them and critizised them (me being one. They were made to sing a song written by one of the counselors and dance to it. This was done to "entertain the rest of the students and counselors while we were eating out huge dinner (they were eating peanut butter sandwiches, when they did eat). Late at night you could here them screaming because of the PT that they were doing ( my bunk was on the back wall, where on the other side they were caring out their punishments). Josh Deery was mentioned by Jordan. Who he said was bent over digging a whole with a spoon. This was the toned down version. He was Bent over, digging hole"s" with an eating spoon, under an old barracks buildin( in the foundation) for many many days. I remember hanging sheatrock in the serving area and him having to do PT based around his spoon while I watched him..This is just what little I saw him do during the 2 weeks or so he was punished. God only know what else he had to go through. If any of you PARENTS can tell me that will not have a lasting effect on Josh's life you are ignorant, and have no clue what it is like to go through such emotional pain. Ill continue on next post.....

K that last post was a test post.... I wrote a few posts that took up the whole 4000 characters each. I posted them yesterday. Was wondering why they havent posted. That one I just posted showed up in 2 sec. Any answers would be helpful. I went to the Anchor and thats the reason for my post.

Im running long so I will give a short overview of things I witnessed. Keep in mind these are kids. Your kids.

Kids made to do push ups in the snow in freezing weather. Pushed over or sometimes tackled if they were not keeping up the PT pace that was set. People slammed or thrown around to get a point across to them. Kids made to eat peanut butter sandwiches, while standing in the the front of the eating hall, to humiliate them. The Foxy 5. Dream Team (another version of Foxy, just as brutal). I Stood over a student (Cody Beeles) and held him down while this guy (not a student or counselor kind of in between) poured a gallon of water over his face military style. Kids would have to stand in the eating hall on Sat. nights if they didnt memorize their 3 verses of scripture a day for each week. They would stand and read the bible for the duration of a movie. I saw kids (foxy 5) made to do squats with cinder blocks held over their head for very long periods of time. If they ever put it down they had to start over again. These cinder blocks were carried around with them for a day or 2. These kids were dressed up in torn, ratty cloths of types of colors and dumb hats that made them look ridiculous to everyone around them (back to the foxy five again). Students would be made to bend over in as uncomfortable of a position as you could get them in, and put there nose on whatever object you would tell them(wall,water fountains, toilets, whatever was not easy to do) If students would not do this or would not do it properly they would get written up or slammed. Depending on student usually. And all of this being done in the name of God at a Christian boys home. This makes me think of James Halford who was beat, humiliated, criticized, and looked down on the whole time I was there. He was ugly by set standards. He was different, he was not a normal kid. When I think about the way he was treated in pains my heart. It was terrible what was done to him and will probably have lasting effects on his life. I don't know how Dennis sleeps at night knowing what he did to this kid and many others. I can go on an on with names and things that were done. There is no excuse.

Students are a big part of the abuse at the school. Leaders were subtly encouraged to do things to subordinates that were inhumane. I cant stress how terrible I feel for what I did and saw there. I don't know how the people in authority don't feel the same. Like Pastor Spencer, Trevor. How can he preach know what he know about what happened to these kids. Its wrong in so many ways.

I wont say that it is all bad by any means. It didn't ruin my life in anyway. I am successful for a 24 year old. I have my own construction business, just build my first house, have a beautiful wife. I still attend church regularly. I'm not at all trying to say that if you go here it will ruin your life. But I just don't see this as the best option for a kid. Ask the Anchor what the percentage of students that are doing well. Its not high. Of the 15 or so people I graduated with, I only know of 4 that are doing really well. Most went back to exactly what they loved and lived for. I would not trust any profession of faith that is made at this school because it is shoved down the students throats, and ones you accept Christ its like part of become a "good kid" at the school. Its not done for the right reasons. I also think that the school will stress most kids relationship with their parents once they are out of the school.

I'm going to stop now, but don't just believe the shiny crap you see when you, as a parent, loot at the school and when they are singing in your churches. I was there giving my perfect, trimmed, and well thought out testimony. Take it from people who have been there and arnt blind.(me, Adam, Jordan, and the other people who wouldn't list there name.

If you have questions please ask.

email: xxxxxxxx(a)xxxxx.xxx

Sorry if this is scattered.Wrote very fast


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Sunday, January 11, 2015

Antdissent at Excel Academy

This testimony was given by the author known as Antdissent. All rights belongs to the original author

Hello. I don't know whether the above post is still active (or even credible; this site doesn't seem to be geared towards political discussion), but there are a few things I would like to add about Excel Academy. I left there less than a year ago.

  1. Staff members never drank the water. Never in the 22 months I spent there do I remember a staff member drinking the tap water. It did not come from the local tap water source. It supposedly drew from a well (I have no idea how this worked; there were just some big machines that were explained to be wells), but this doesn't really make much sense to me because the surrounding houses (the place was located across the street from country residential area). It was not connected to any of the local water management. It's waste water was removed by a septic company (the septic also often overflowed, forcing all students to smell it). The water was always a grey, murky color; this was explained to be from air bubbles, which still does not explain why the staff would never drink it. All students broke out with worse acne when they go there; it was generally explained to them as withdrawal to drugs. One of my friends, who was a former heroine addict, showed up there with horrible acne; and I actually remember it getting slightly worse when he got there. I would not be surprised if there was something in the water.
  2. Almost all (it could be all; I can only comment from the lifestyle that was observable to the students) of the staff members had a huge paycheck. JJ (Jamie Risner) bought a new car every year and had a huge mansion. It's worth noting that this was after paying off local authorities; I do not know how widely this was done but I am aware that this was not uncommon on some issues. Although a large part of that was on our parent's pay (tuition was 5,000 a month plus a large sum for their extortionist policies of charging parents highly inflated prices for necessary supplies), I would not be too surprised on the possibility of contracts. I would like to see research and sources for this data. As far as contracts with the US government, I would not see this as any real indicator of that; but it is strange to note a very high number of ex-military staff* working at the place. There was also one who was a cop. He, along with another staff member, was in the Free Masons, although I'm not completely sure how relevant that is.
  3. Yes, as I begun to learn more about leftist politics, I had started to draw similarities between Excel's conditioning techniques and CIA tactics. There was no waterboarding; but potential for physical abuse was high, especially in the earlier years*. The school was widely accepted to be a 'behavioral modification program'. Although that phrase is creepy enough, I will point out that 'behavioral modification' is recondition; what happened is there is very creepy, and I still notice some conditioning left in me from it.

Sleep deprivation was used, but was not widespread at the point which I was there. It was more of something used to break students which were open about their feelings toward the place****. In some cases, what was done was irregularly waking the student up at night; this was done under the excuse that the student was at risk for hurting themselves, although it was universally understood that that was the 'on the record' excuse used to make the action legally justifiable.

There was also something called the 'quiet room'; I am not quite sure what went on in there, and the details on it were widely suppressed among the student population. What I do know is that students were kept in there for as long as days at a time. During this time, a staff member would do things such as force them to do push-ups; adopt a 'you sleep when I decide you can sleep' policy; feed them a sandwich with a single piece of meat for meals; and require specified amounts of God prayers***** for food, water, and sleep.

A student’s food choices were strictly managed. One selection of food would be prepared by the students, although the quantities and types would be chosen by staff. Students were given a designated quantity for their serving; this was strictly enforced. Students would be required to eat all of their food; failure to do so would be punishable, often by reducing the student’s meals to a permanent restriction of in proportion half of other students’. Many students could not handle the size of servings; they were forced to eat all of it. Vegetarians were forced to eat their meat
When I first arrived, my appetite was severely limited by depression. I was put on half-portions, and the amount of food served also began to decline to a point at which most students were generally hungry. The food was, in many cases, disgusting; and made me gag. I do not know what I would have preferred to happen there. They starved me, but I was also dangerously overweight (255 pounds) from two psyche meds, both of which are widely known to cause severe weight gain. At this point, I am starting to learn that hunger is not something that is simply uncomfortable; I have started to realize that my current eating habits are unhealthy because I ignore my hunger until it is convenient to eat. I have also begun to realize that because of all my loose skin, I could look healthy when most people would have their ribs showing.

  • The place began to get much less abusive once Aspen Education Group bought it in 2001**. From what I have heard, very little changed at first; but then Aspen began to more aggressively investigate the practices of the school and found it to be a huge liability risk. They did not want to get sued, and therefore began to place some limits on Excel, which the school tried its best to cir***vent and ignore. It was still really bad when I got there, and I was lucky that I didn’t begin to crack (and therefore break rules) until Aspen had started to more aggressively protect students’ lawsuit-worthy rights in early 2006. I believe that this testimony provides a look at what the school may have been like before Aspen began to intervene against the most egregious human rights violations the school committed.
  • Keeping in mind that I’m generally paranoid about things, I feel that the buyout is the only thing there that I have not directly observed which I know to be true. The flow of information was highly managed***, and I still cannot figure out what the hell was happening there. The intentions, goals, attitudes, and internal conflicts of staff members are not something that I can figure out. With the way they managed to brainwash parents, I would not be surprised if quite a few of them could put on a convincing act. I often try to figure out who (sometimes questioning even if the entire operation, by removing the students’ identity and therefore allowing them to build a new one free of the brainwashed culture****) was really there to help me and who was playing along to the tune of an inflated paycheck. I generally arrive at the conclusion that the entire place was run by greed.
  • Anything not related to the school was not permitted to be discussed. This was enforced, and it was punishable to even say “Family Guy”. Nothing from the outside was permitted to touch upon our consciousness. The privilege to talk about sports, movies, and video games (of the last two, those few that were considered ‘appropriate’) was, however, permitted to be discussed by those who were not in trouble. The ability of students to talk with each other was also highly regulated. Those students who were on ‘blackout’ from each other were not allowed to acknowledge each other’s existence in any way, verbal and nonverbal as well as direct and indirect. This was much more strictly enforced between students of the opposite sex; some males wound up developing a strong fear of girls. All students who were on ‘six months and under’******* as well as all students of the opposite sex were on blackout from each other.
  • One teacher there seemed to be a bit of a leftist, although I still cannot trust most staff to provide truth. He once pointed out that one of the practices there was conditioning, then commented that conditioning means brainwashing before joking “You’re minds are so dirty they need to be washed anyway. Wouldn’t you agree?”
  • Most students put on an act, but some students - me included - would not yield. In general, students either did things they'd be embarrassed of (constant snitching, enforcement of rules; we moved around campus like chaingangs with invisible shackles) to their peers because they were 'playing the game' or be embarrassed of the way they acted because the place cracked them while they were there. Several of my friends who 'played the game' have since then expressed that they find the non-cooperative stance to be the more commendable of the two; I don't blame any students or parents and find neither stance to have any more merit than the other.
  • God prayers were sheets covered with the words "God have mercy on [name of person]". They were a standard punishment. Students who were in 'consequence' were required to write 2,000 of these a week.
  • ’Six months and under’ was a deceptive wording. It generally meant that anybody who had been good for six months was eligible to come off ‘six months and under’. People who were not off six months could not read books other than things for class work. I never came off and was frequently in trouble, in many cases thrown to the ground and later put in consequence, for reading books. I also wound up introverting into my classes.

    As well as the six months and under, status there were the statuses of ‘on shadow’ and ‘appropriate’********. People on shadow (I was on this pretty much the entire time) were required to stay with their assigned shadow, another student, at all times other than when sleeping, showering, and using the bathroom.
  • These were people who were generally trusted to snitch on students in ‘life skills’ for breaking the rules. To give an example of something that might come up, I got put on a ban from swaying back and forth and pacing; this was once brought up. Breaking blackout and talking about ‘inappropriate’ (in general, things outside of the school and program) subjects were common things brought up.

    People played the game by a strong system of rewards and punishments; some students even began to internalize the indoctrination of the school as morally good. The largest rewards were visits with parents. Parents could visit the students for ten hours once a month (phone calls were fifteen minutes for once a week and always monitored). In the beginning, these visits were on-shadow and on-campus (during the twenty-two months I was there I saw the outside of campus less than ten times); but if students were good, they could get visits without a shadow********* and go off campus. Sometimes they could have longer visits than five hours each of the two days the parents were there. In some cases, they could even stay with their parents at a hotel. The privileged few (those who were seen to be completely indoctrinated) could even visit home for a weekend. In all cases, visits were only once a month.

    The more everyday rewards were things like additional food, the ‘privilege’ to sit on padded surfaces, the ‘privilege’ to watch movies when they played on the weekends, the ‘privilege’ to play card games and board games on weekends, and the ‘privilege’ to eat sweets (when they were passed out) and drink juice on the weekends.
  • Still, parents would often report things the students’ said to them. It is truly unbelievable how brainwashed to parents were. I have no idea how the place managed to keep me there for twenty-two months; that they’d even keep me there more than a month turned out to be a little bit of a shocker for me.

The facility closed 2008. An incident involving an employee who also happened to be a local police officer who took a student to the local jail where the student was forced to be undressed in front of the inmates made local news coverage.

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Tuesday, November 25, 2014

A mother about her daughters stay

This review was made by a mother to a girl placed at Heartlight Ministries in Texas. All rights goes to the author

  • Good: The staff on intake seemed confident that our daughter was a good fit in their program. Things seemed hopeful but then I was coming from a very emotional state and anything they said I would have been glad to hear..
  • Bad: The substandard psycological services and their lack of truely diagnosing the problems. The counseling staff and program in general was unable to help my child because they didn't understand the real issues nor did they have the proper training in the treatmeant model she needed. One size fits all mentality..
  • Improvements: They need a psychological staff that is highly trained in the latest theripudic models and can see and understand the child's real needs. Behavior modification may work for a few but when you have a child with dysregulated thinking and an inability to keep continuity of her life memory from day to day a dialectic therapeutic model is called for and they had no idea what that was. Their understanding of Neurobiology was very poor..
  • Other: The psychiatric care was marginal. Contact with the doctor was rare and I got the distinct feeling he was a pill pusher and didn't attempted any diagnostic help at all. The treatment team wasn't working in lock step to help my child. When it got to hard they kicked her out. No graduation or closure for my child..

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Monday, November 24, 2014

A testimony about Heartlight Ministries

This testimony about Hearlight Ministries was found on Judy's book. All rights goes to the original author

I was sent to Heartlight over 10 years ago.

It helped me to stop stereotyping people, and I formed life long friendships with both residents and staff.

When I arrived, I was so angry, I wouldn't even look at my parents. When I left, I was cheery and outgoing. I came back home after 15 months and made new friends which led to my joining a garage band. This angered my parents who have always considered my passion for singing a waste of time.

They claimed I was using drugs, which was unfounded and untrue. They made the decision to send me back to Heartlight after only being home for 3 months. Mark Gregston decided to be my counselor for my 2nd time there. I was back for 2 months and in that time, I saw him once. He cancelled all the other sessions. I was eventually kicked out for trying to runaway. A couple of months later, my first roommate died. Being adopted, then sent away twice, hurt so much more than it helped.

To this day my parents and I have a very strained relationship and most of it is because of Heartlight. Oh, and I went to jail twice for weed after my Heartlight stay. I didn't even smoke before I went to Heartlight either time. I was very close with my first roommate and the marijuana had a lot to do with numbing the pain I felt from her absence. Every single person I was at Heartlight with has expressed the same view. It hurts more than helps.

I truely believe when Gregston first started this, it was to help people. Now, the other residents I lived with and even some of the staff I'm still in touch with believe this is all about the money for him. Want proof? He named a cabin after my friend Caroline who passed away (and who was also sent to the program twice), then changed the name after someone who donated a ton of money to the organization. Also, if the parents aren't willing to take part and heal themselves, this program has no chance in working. If drugs are involved, this place will not help whatsoever. They do not follow a 12 step program.

Since it was founded Heartlight Ministries has been the focus of a number of campaigns where relatives and friends try to get teenagers released. Also a number of teenagers have tried to escape. Punishment reported includes being forced to wear orange jumpsuits like prison inmates.

Sources:

Sunday, October 26, 2014

Jordan Harrell at Anchor Academy

The testimony was found on the Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora. All rights goes to the author Jordan Harrell

Hello, my name is Jordan Harrell. After reading a lot of the posts on this forum (both about the Anchor Academy and other homes) i decided i would try and share my experiences and what did/has happened and what is happening to me today because of it. I wanna start off to say that i was never a perfect teen. As nobody ever is. I never did drugs, never drank, never experimented with weird things or got into obsessive amounts of trouble. With that being said, here is what i learned.

I was at the Anchor Academy from January of 2003 to June of 2005 when i graduated high school. I will touch on that first and for most. While you do get to accelerate at school if you so choose, there has been one hamper on my life from their school. They use the ACE packets, and as such, they ARE NOT accredited. Some people may not realize what this means, but to me, it means a great deal. I found out after graduation that when i try to apply to A LOT of schools, they require that i have a state accredited diploma. So, because i do not have one of those, i had to get a GED. Not a massive deal, but not one of the more pleasant experiences. A lot of years of high school that didn't really amount to much in the end. I am not saying im some kind of genius, not saying anything like that...just stating the facts from my point of view anyways.

Upon arriving at the Anchor, i had every personal belonging i had ever owned stripped from me. They took my wallet, my pictures, my friends phone numbers, everything. Literally. Not a big deal, but then as a 15 year old kid it seemed a big deal at the time. I was given a hair cut (which i must say was needed) and set up with a guide. Let me get right down to the good stuff. The Anchor had multiple levels of "leadership" and "communication" levels. I will start with leadership.

1. Leadership: The basics of leadership at the anchor were pretty straight forward, its a tier based system, the higher your "rank" the more privileges/responsibilities/"power" you were given. When you first arrive there, you are placed under someone called a "guide" and you are his "student". As a student, here are the basics of your rules to follow as far as the "guide" is concerned. You MUST stay withing 5 feet of your guide at all times, this is a 24/7 policy. If you go outside of the 5 foot radius, you can be given "complaints" (a point system for keeping track of the bad things you do, the more complaints you get, the more trouble you are in.) If he doesn't like what you are saying, your guide is allowed to put you on silence whenever he sees fit. While on silence you are not allowed to talk without raising your hand. If you do, you get more complaints. You MUST follow whatever instructions your guide tells you to. For example. One of my first guides i ever had once told me to go stand over by my bunk. Just so happens, my bunk was more than 5 feet away from him. Upon arriving at my bunk, my guide told me that i was more than 5 feet from him, so i got complaints for it. When i asked why i was getting complaints for doing what i was told, he gave me more complaints for talking without raising my hand (i had been put on silence). After that, he told me to bend over and put my nose on the bunk. In this position, you must keep your legs straight, and bend over to put your nose on something. Try it with a table for instance. After standing in that position for long enough, it will bring tears to even the strongest of people. After getting off orientation (students, which could take anywhere from 3+ months, 3 months was usually the minimum) you were promoted to what was called a "single". As a single, you were put into a crew (will explain a few) and given free roam of the area within certain limitations (which there were plenty of). If you did well as a single, you were promoted to a guide. I wont go further into that since i have already explained. If you continued to do well ( and were an admitted christian might i add...i will go into more of that later too) you were promoted "maybe" to a crew leader. A crew leader had the same basic function as a guide, except he was in charge of 5-8 singles, guides, and students. He had the same authority over every member of his crew, and also every persons in the anchor who were a lower rank than him. He could put a guides nose on something if he so choose, give out complaints as he saw fit (didn't need to be justified, nobody every justified most the complaints). So you can think of him as a "guide" for 5-8 students. I am skipping a lot of the deeper detail, i can go into that later if anyone requests it. There were usually 5-8 crew leaders or more at any give time. Alot of people to watch out for...just on that tier alone. Next you had a dorm leader. Dorm leaders were in charge of the entire dorm, usually 50+ students. They had all the power that crew leaders have, only they had it over crew leaders as well. Pretty self explanatory. After that came the staff, doesn't need much explanation on that one.

2. Communication Levels: There were a total of 6 communication levels. I will start from the bottom. If you did something really bad, you were placed on "super separation". While on super separation, you were not allowed to talk to ANYONE but your crew leader, the dorm leader, and staff. If you did, you got complaints. If you LOOKED (yes i mean looked, like with your eyes) at anyone other than those people, you were given complaints. Alot of complaints too might i add. Do you have any idea how hard it is to not LOOK at someone? I mean you cant even acknowledge their existence. If they talked, you cant respond, if they told a joke, you cant laugh, nothing, without getting complaints. Next in line was "separation". Same basic principles as super separation, only you could talk to all crew leaders, instead of your own. After separation came orientation student. Same basic principle as separation, except you could talk to any "number 1's" that you wanted to, and your guide, regardless of his communication level. Anyone else that you looked at or talked to, you got complaints. Oh and by the way, if you talked to someone you weren't allowed to, you got swats. With a paddle. They had two wooden paddles. One was smaller named smiley, the other was significantly larger named Proverbs. By the way, this goes without saying i would think, but when kids were getting swats with those, you could hear them all the way on the other side of the dorm. After orientation student came a single. Pretty much the same communication levels as a student, just didnt have to follow someone around all the time. After that was a "number 2". They were allowed to talk to everyone who was a level 2 and above. So if you were a level 2, you could talk to all level 2's and all level 1's. If you talked to or looked at anyone not of those ranks, you had the same punishment as the lower ranks. And last was a "number 1". They were allowed to talk to everyone, with the exception of separation/super separation, unless they were a crew leader.

Now, for the punishment section of this page. Please understand, that while i did not have most of these things done to me, i was around it more times than i would have ever have liked, and i was sometimes put in charge of seeing these punishments executed. The one everyone remembers most is probably peanut butter sandwiches and water. If you did something wrong, as far as school or whatever a staff felt was appropriate, they put you on peanut butter. That was nothing but a peanut butter sandwich (TERRIBLE might i add, you had to choke it down, it was not jiffy peanut butter) and water. You could be put on that for as long as the staff so desired. Which could be months. I can name people, names i will remember forever, who were on peanut butter sandwiches for months. I remember one boy was on it for 6 months straight. He started gagging whenever he tried to eat, so whatever he didn't eat ( he was required to eat 2 each meal) they put them in a plastic bag which he carried around until he ate them all. I can remember him having 15+ sandwiches in that bag. It was disgusting to see. Red shirt was another one that everyone feared. For good reason too. I remember one boy who was on redshirt for over 2 months. You only get 1 red shirt, and 1 pair of pants, which you have to wear all day and all night, every night. They get washed once a week, if i remember right. You did pt (physical training) around the clock. You slept for about 3 hours a night. This is where a part of me goes out to every boy who was ever on this. You usually got put on this for running away, although i remember one boy got put on it for cheating in school and just being a little bit more rebellious than they liked. They tied your feat together with rope, and made you carry a broom over your head everywhere you went. You had to hop around. You stood at the end of your bed with your nose up against your bed while everyone else slept, you ran laps a lot, we are talking like 10 miles a day of laps. They made you dig holes with a spoon, while standing up. You had to bend over and dig the hole while keeping a straight leg. I remember that while one boy on redshirt was doing this, the staff members fed his peanut butter sandwiches to the dog in front of his face, so he didn't get to eat that meal. They would make you dig those holes with spoons, fill them back up with your spoon, and then dig a new a hole, over and over. I remember one boy ran away once ( granted he stole a car to get away...makes you wonder why he wanted to get away so bad) and when they caught him, they tied a rope around his waist, and dragged him around like a dog for...what...2 months? There are alot of things i could say about punishments, but i would keep you reading for hours. If you want to know more, please by all means, let me know. I wonder if anyone who reads this from the anchor remembers the foxy five, or "brother willy's" weekend duty. Or his morning PT. I would love to see that.

The work ethic was valuable. I will say that. They taught you how to work. Granted, in today's world it would be considered slave labor, considering you never got payed for it, even though they often did. Have you picked rocks out of a field for 12+ hours in the blistering heat with people riding you about getting it done faster. There were very few breaks, and very little compassion, and zero money. In the 2.5 years i was there, i never saw a dime. Even though generally you worked for at least 4 hours a day, except, wednesday and Sunday (cause of church). I had to dig trenches, tear down buildings, lay piping, build cabinets, mow lawns, sand blast, and every sort of general cleaning you can think of. I am not saying the work experience wasn't valuable, but you never saw a reward for your effort outside of calloused hands and a sense of accomplishment.

The food, so long as you were not on peanut butter, was very good. They certainly did a good job with food. They kept your bellies full, with a wide variety of courses. The lady staff members did a wonderful job cooking.

There were no fences, there were no guards, you were free to run. Only you were 35 miles from the closest town. And if they caught you, which they ALWAYS did, you got put on redshirt. If you didnt die to the elements in the process.

To touch on now a days, the anchor certainly holds a spot in my memory, it always will. Still to this day i have nightmares about going back there, about the things i went through, and the things i saw others go through. I was rarely in alot of trouble there, i tried to steer clear of it, but i was often around others getting into it. I saw things that would make parents cry. Still to this day i feel terribly guilty about not trying to do more. I have this feeling like i should be trying to help those kids, be trying to get them out of there, but i dont know what to do. I could talk for hours about the struggles young men go through while there. Even while writing this there is a pain in my heart that goes out to all those kids who are sent there. Im not saying some of those young men don't need someone to take them by the hand and lead them in the right direction, but i dont think that this boys home goes about it in the right way. Interesting enough, some people will read this and try to say that i am lying, try to say that i dont know what i am talking about. I dare someone to say that to my nightmares, tell it to the hundreds of boys who have gone through there and now have some sort of anxiety problems. "tough love" is only effective when the person its being done to, knows it is out of love, not when they are so terrified to do anything different they conform out of fear.

And on a last note, religious beliefs set aside, the Anchor Academy for Boys DOES force their religion and their beliefs on you. If you do not believe like them, then you will never gain rank, you will never be treated with respect. The staff there only want you to believe as they do. There is no such thing as a Mormon or Catholic there. If you get caught thinking like that, or trying to follow another religion, or trying to speak about what you believe, the punishments are severe. As bad as what i have listed above. Please, for your children, do not force religion down their throat. From personal experience, it will only make things much worse.

Well, i will end it there, i could keep writing for days, very literally, and fill up pages and pages of information, but most people dont want to read it. This is my attempt to tell the world about what happened to me and what i saw. Take it as you will, there it is. Thank you for reading. Sorry for any typo's, i got kinda emotional writing some of this. The pain is still very real, even 5 years after the fact.

The home later moved to Montana and on to Missiouri where it exists today.

Sources:

Sunday, October 5, 2014

A parent about Anchor Academy

This testimony was given by a parent on the Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora. All rights goes to the original author

My son was at Anchor a couple of years ago. I agree with yall, something definitely needs to be done. Here is a post that I put on another page. This is how I feel and a little bit about our story:

The people that have never had any dealings with Anchor really don't know what goes on there. We sent our son there 2 years ago. When we went to check out the program, we felt like it was a great place. The boys seemed well mannered. We were told what we wanted to hear. We thought it would be great place for our son because he had problems with defiance. He wasn't a REBEL but he was an ADHD child that needed some direction. We are a Christian family and our children have been brought up in a Christian home and church.

We took money out of my husbands retirement to send him there. This was the biggest mistake of our lives. There IS abuse there. I don't care what a child has done, YOU DO NOT TIE THEM UP!!!!! There are other options!!!!

We were told there would be counseling in which there was not. For breakfast they ate Raw oats and milk. For 3 1/2 months of the 4 months that my child was there he had Mostly Peanut butter and water for meals. We paid them thousands of dollars and my child ate raw oats and peanut butter sandwiches. These are children not criminals. Number one, you do not allow children to totally be over another child. They are Children. My son could not speak, address or even look at the other kids for four months. In prison, at least you can carry on a conversation with people. They allow the guides and leaders; in which are children;to be responsible for the discipline of the other children. The adults allow the guides and leaders man handle the kids that are under them. They give way too much control to the kids that have learned how to play the system. MY son was pulled off the commode while having a bowel movement because he took more that 3 minutes. So again we gave them thousands of dollars to allow other children to do their job. There are way too many kids and not near enough staff. If you have a kid with adhd then you know how easily distracted they can be. This does not make him a REBEL. So naturally his complaints piled up especially when the complaints were given to him by the kids the were "IN CHARGE".

The exercise was way to intense. They made them exercise around the clock. They wouldn't allow them to drink enough water during the exercises. Im a nurse and from what I have been taught, Peanut butter sandwiches and water, raw oats and milk is NOT enough food for that amount of exercise. When my son came home he did not have an ounce of fat on him. In fact he was malnourished. Im sorry; That is ABUSE. There are plenty of programs out there that can get across to these kids. The Punishment should fit the crime. And it doesn't there. In fact when we went for our visit and we asked for a meeting with BRo. Dennis because we thought there was a problem maybe with his guide, we were told that were undermining his authority and he didn't know if he wanted our son to stay because of it. During our meeting Bro Dennis blasted me because I was asking all the questions. I was told our child was just a REBEL. My child is not a REBEL!! In fact to this day my child still has nightmares about that place. In fact, He would cry if you even discussed Anchor with him. They did teach the Bible but in my opinion they hide behind the Bible. They also make these kids work long hours at the cotton mill and are not paid for it. Sounds like a child labor issue to me. If my child is such a rebel why is he done with high school and in college at 16 years old. No thanks to Anchor. If you went to Anchor and had a good experience; thats great. Not everyone did!! You cant let children have that much control over other children.

By the way we pulled our son 4 months into the program. Praise God, we got him out of there. Yes my son had problems, but no one deserves to be treated like that. Like I said the punishment should fit the crime. No matter what a kid does, you don't tie them up, You don't pull someone off the commode while trying to use the restroom, You don't allow other kids to control there every move. You don't allow kids to manhandle other kids because you cant. They even made my son do so much exercise It caused a testicular hernia. You also should make sure these kids are getting enough food to justify the exercise. By the way Bro Dennis did verify all of things were told to be correct. Funny how he didn't tell us everything when he first met him. We were told they had no connection to Roloff homes in TX. If this is true why did they go to Corpus Christi for Founders day while my son was there.

My son is at Youth Challenge Academy now. He make platoon leader and squad leader right off. He has not gotten the first citation against him the entire time he has been there. No we didn't send him there because he was defiant or a REBEL. He wen't to finish high school and start college early. The staff loves him. They have nothing but great things to say about him. There are children there that are defiant and rebellous. If they can get to these kids without the extremes that Anchor uses, Anchor could do the same. I don't see ycp tying kids up. They get plenty to eat. They receive real counseling every day. They make sure they have plenty of water. The kids aren't touched by staff or other children. There is an adult with them at all times. The do exercise but in moderation. The punishment fits the crime. By the way, when we withdrew our son for Anchor they refused to refund us any of the thousands of dollars that we paid up front. Sounds real Christian-like to me. So if any of you are thinking about sending you child here. Please be VERY vigilant. Do your research and go with your gut feeling.

The home later moved to Montana and on to Missiouri where it exists today.

Sources:

Thursday, December 8, 2011

Heather McGee at Excel Academy (From:Heal-online.org)

This story was originally written on a webpage created to provide statements for a GAO hearing in 2007. The address is cafety.youthrights.org and it waits for your statement if you believe that your stay at a boarding school included unfair treatment or even abuse. All rights and credits goes to the author Heather McGee, who posted the original story on HEAL-online's webpage

Hi my name is Heather McGee. Everything in my statement is true. I give HEAL permission to use my statement.

I attended a therapeutic boarding school called Excel Academy in Conroe Texas at the age of 15 in 2000. It is very painful to write this, but I feel maybe my experience could benefit others that may be in danger or even in similar situations.

I was a problem child growing up I also had other issues such as alcohol abuse and drug abuse. I was not sent to excel just for my substance abuse I was sent mainly for my behavioral problems. I was diagnosed with bipolar at age 14 from there on I pretty much just escalated, acting out yelling at my parents and becoming violent.

As parents they did what they "thought" was right and put their trust into the hands of excel academy. My mother had told me I was needing to change schools and in the position I was in at that moment I was excited, I was willing to take any opportunity I could to get some help. Mom and Dad drove me to Texas. They told me I was going to attend a private Christian school. I was excited absolutely thrilled; I had no idea that I was just about to experience something that would affect me for the rest of my life.

Mom and I got out of the car and went into the office. A heavyset lady talked to mom a minute and then Hell walked in, her name was Jamie, Jamie was the head of the staff. She walked in, I took one look at her and just knew something did not seem right. Other girls also walked in behind her. Jamie didn’t say much to me except (heather come with me). I was put into a jumpsuit and had to take all jewelry out including anything from the "outside" I was put into an orange jumpsuit with (runaway call 911) on the back of it. I didn’t think much of it. And honestly as I'm trying to write all this I must have blocked out most of the things that occurred there for my first 3 months so forgive me if none of this makes sense.

As my time there progressed I noticed the things that happened there were not in any way appropriate. The physical and verbal abuse there was very high, and when I say physical and verbal I mean from the staff not children attending the school. I'm thinking back to as many situations I can remember, on a daily basis there I was abused physically and verbally. I was not like most of the children there I argued and talked back with the staff which if I had only known I was going to get hit or verbally attacked I would of never argued.

Eventually I just became quiet and gave up on everything, we will get to that later on though. About 6 months into this program and when I say 6 months that’s when I start remembering just "some" of the things that went on. I had came into excel a little heavy from my drug and alcohol abuse and or many other things. After being there 6 months I was actually considered obese and was reminded of my weight problem daily from Jamie and the other staff members. I was called fat, fat ass, fat shit, slut, whore, loser yes LOSER and FAT was one of Jamie’s favorite things to say to me. Most of the children that came there caught on to the scene pretty quickly and just remained silent afraid they might risk the abuse too.

I know you are probably wondering why we did not just tell our parents the truth about excel well here’s why we were monitored daily and nightly by girls called "shadows" these girls had been there for a while and had figured out if they act like they like the program and put on a smile they would be out of there soon!!!! So my shadows which I had about 5 followed me everywhere including shower time and when I had to use the restroom.

They would write down everything u did wrong and tell Jamie. Most of my shadows tried to not write too much down afraid Jamie might ' GO PSYCHO" but they also knew if they didn’t write anything down they would get it just as bad. So during LIFESKILLS, a class we attended after regular school hours the shadows of the girls would read out the BAD things the girls had done. I remember soo soooo well walking towards the cafeteria where lifeskills was held and having the sickest feeling in my stomach along with pretty much every student there. I would shake and want to cry I remember if Jamie did not show up that day which she did often due to issues that were unexplained and or kept from us the student would have this sense of relief come over them almost like a feeling like thank you god thank you so much god I can at least BREATH.

During lifeskills Jamie would call the students names such as gay fuck and bitch and so on it gets worse. She would stand the children up and humiliate them with anything she could think of and if you talked back to her she would spit in your face and start pounding on your chest with her hands leaving all kinds of bruises. And eventually she started cutting the girls hair it was called a" learning experience" in her words. And not cut our hair nicely, she would just take scissors and start cutting away sometimes leaving half of the girls hair not cut and the other half butched. I remember so well every time Jamie verbally attacked someone or physically abused them she would smile happily and it wasn’t a normal smile it was a sick sick smile almost like Jamie enjoyed seeing these children being tortured. A lot of children there were also put into the corner to stand sometimes all night long and sometimes all day long, in the corner we would eat tuna fish, not sandwiches, just plain tuna fish in a bowl.

On my sixteenth birthday I was in the corner and had been for about 6 months, my whole entire stay at excel I pretty much was standing in the corner of course attending school and going to bed (sometimes) but other than that I was always in the corner back to my sixteenth birthday my mother had sent a cake for me and some presents, I stood in the corner with tuna in a bowl and watched the other children eat the birthday cake my mother had sent only about 15 kids got to eat cake the rest were on discipline too. I never received my mother’s presents I was told to write a thank you letter to my mother for the presents she sent that I never received.

I have a learning disability also, I was not quick to learn and I was told I was a distraction to the other students in my class so I was put into a closet with a computer my mom sent and was put on a Christian home school program called alpha omega. I recall Jamie taking me out of class one day and telling me to fucking go inside my closet and I would do school from there she closed the door and left. My alpha omega program was e mailing my teachers homework and what not at one point I thought I was slick and tried to ask one of the teachers for help and to contact the police. Somehow my e-mail never made it through but Jamie knew about it quickly and I was punished again.

Girls in our dorm which was pretty much a huge trailer filled with bunk beds, stayed up all night taking shifts to watch the other girls sleep just in case of a runaway happening. If u sneezed wrong or even snored they had to write it down and at lifeskills the next day u were yelled at and abused. There were a lot of girls and some boys there with eating disorders, some were also vegetarians, these certain girls and boys were forced to eat beyond there limit including thirds seconds sometimes fourths. I remember some girls would throw up because they were to full and Jamie forced them to eat another plate. The ones that were vegetarians were forced to eat all their meat no matter what including the fatty tissue of the meat. I had 2 escapes at excel that was my food and my sleep. I tried to gorge myself with food when I could which didn’t last long because I was eating tuna fish the last year there.

My other escape was sleep; I would get so excited when it was bedtime. I could dream I could go into another world, I dreaded waking up sometimes I wanted to just fall asleep and never wake up again. Of course no child there got more than 5 hours of sleep. a lot of the time Jamie would come in the dorms both girls and boys and wake everyone up at whatever time she felt like it and make us all go do BOOTCAMP with the officers from Montgomery county jail. Officer Witworth was one I remember. I could see in his eyes he wanted all of us to do well and learn our lessons but he had no idea what was the actual case he was hard on us it was his job and if he only knew that to all of us bootcamp was better than getting abused.

I was woke up one night with a crock pot full of ice water Jamie poured it on my head and said get up fat ass, I and a few other girls and boys was taken out in the snow to do boot camp no matter how could rainy or hot it was she didn’t care. I have asthma and when I would get short of breath I would ask for me inhaler which she refused to give me unless I starting almost fainting. S couple time children would fall to the ground in exhaustion, Jamie would come up behind them and kick them and tell them to get the fuck up or the will get it worse. some would get up some would lay there unable to move. she would drag them into the building and we never really got to find out what went on. Boot camp had become a routine for me sometimes all day long sometimes just 1 or 2 times a day so I adapted. I remember when Jamie wasn’t watching, Officer Witworth would let us kinda half ass our workouts then if she came out or showed up he would go straight back to the workout. Officer Witworth had to come out often for just me I remember one time he came out told me to follow him to a picnic table and let me sit down across from him he sat there and talked to me asked me what I was feeling and why I acted the way I did, I was shocked and I was so desperate to talk to anyone at this point and I had maybe got a few words in until Jamie interrupted us and said HEATHER what the fuck do u think you are doing get out there and fucking start doing bear crawls. Officer Witworth just looked at her and came and helped her with my workout.

My whole stay there I was unable to talk to anyone I was on a BAND or restriction where if I opened my mouth to anyone I was going to be punished. Of coarse we were not allowed to speak of outside issues relating to drugs music friends etc. so most of the time if we were allowed to speak it was about excel only or our program. I thought it was just me at first I knew I was the "bad apple" there and I should be punished but as I stayed there longer I noticed everyone else there was being abused and punished in an inappropriate manner.

That way most of the children there remained silent. And if I had to do it all over again I probably would of too. As I began to fall apart emotionally loosing my sanity day by day I started cutting myself not for attention mostly because I thought maybe if I kept doing it they would kick me out and send me to a different program. Of coarse they did not, and wouldn’t in their mind they would be loosing money!! I started cutting deeper and deeper every time and at one point I had actually found a vein which maybe I could break and bleed to death, hopefully get sent to the hospital, but the vein did not break and that day Jamie found out and came and grabbed me out of my closet and dragged me to the cafeteria she then poured lemon juice and salt into my open wound I had made. Her and some other staff held me down as I screamed.

Two girls had actually succeeded in running away the first 6 months I was there, they had tried several times but they finally made it. When I found out about this I wasn’t sad I was not sad at all in fact along with other girls I was amazed and jealous and at the same time so happy for them. They never came back and I would just smile thinking of them and how brave they were.

One day when I was in my closet something seemed strange everyone was being so nice to me, the staff even came in my closet and asked me to write a paper on how I feel excel has helped me. Of coarse I dare not write anything bad because I took this as an opportunity to maybe get treated different, plus when u go a day with the staff smiling at you and not hitting or cursing at you seem happy. That paper was one of the hardest things I've had to ever do, I lied in that paper and just tried to write down what I wished could have been possible. My shadows took the paper and walked me into the cafeteria there I found my mother and the whole student body standing in there. My heart sank I was in complete shock I didn’t know what to do. Then I look over I see sally Jamie’s " girlfriend/ lover"/staff member) most 99% of the staff there was Jamie’s relatives. Anyway I look over and see sally with this face of death she looked as if she was going to explode not in a good way in a very very BAD way.

These events that occurred at excel academy were wrong, I am not the same at all this is the first time I have ever tried to even think back about the "excel days" I have mentioned it to my mom o few times and she wants to take them to court I do not excel has yes abusive and hurtful people working there and yes they brainwash every single parent that walks into that do claiming there child will die if they don’t stay here, but in no way in NO WAY did I receive any help, any therapy, any love that excel promised my mother, I apologize if all my writing my seem confusing it is very very painful to think back to those days and I ask myself this question every day did excel help me or did excel hurt me?

I do not blame my mother for sending me there I did indeed need professional help, and from what she knew I was going to receive help, I was an out of control child and my mother did her best to make sure I stay safe and alive. Why was I abused at excel why was my self esteem completely gone while I was there. I did not receive the help I needed I was punished and abused and its a day to day process of getting my head back up, I still to this day 5 years later have nightmares about excel academy, and those nightmares affect my mental ability my emotional ability, and also affect they way I react to peers family or my daughter.

I am a mother now I have a daughter that’s 2, I have my own house and I have a great relationship with my family and significant other. I wanted to make sure parents out there know what goes on at excel academy I want to try and make sure no child has to ever experience that kind of experience, no human being deserves abuse, I will do whatever it takes to make sure excel does not continue this inappropriate behavior and that they do not get away with what they have done, I will never be the same after attending excel, and I am aware I cannot save everyone but at least I can make a difference to someone at least I can maybe save one life, please PLEASE help me put a stop to abusive schools thank you and god bless.

Sincerely,

Heather McGee

References:
Datasheet from the Fornits Home for Wayward Web Fora
The original statement on HEAL-online's webpage
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