Showing posts with label marathon seminars. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marathon seminars. Show all posts

Sunday, December 7, 2014

GODFATHER at Carlbrook School

This story was originally written on the message board called the Fornits Home for Wayward Webfora. All rights goes to the original author known as GODFATHER

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This is not to say that the students enrolled are not intelligent-- in fact, for the most part they are, and this helps the school in that students soon realize the path of least resistance and flock to it.

I was at Carlbrook from 10/03-05/05 and I found this site just looking up things about cbrook one day and I saw this quote from may 2009 and it is one of the best statements about carlbrook I have seen....

I also constantly have dreams/nightmares about being back at carlbrook or being sent away again by my parents...

When I was there I constantly disliked the school and its program and what it was trying to do to all the kids there. Towards the end of my stay I even got in trouble with my advisors for saying that I did not want to be like the Carlbrook sellouts who were brainwashed by this place and I got put on bans with everyone in the school except for the people I said were those sellouts. I was constantly told in group and the workshops that I hated myself and thought all sorts of crazy shit when I didnt....

I can also say that I always thought it was creepy and weird how they tried to get all the students to hug each other and "smush" and stuff like that, I dont think parents knew their kids were going to be smushing with 50 year old men when they enrolled them.

And Grant Price is the biggest hypocrit there, and has no room to be running a school for "troubled youth" when he is just a former student and still hasnt figured his own shit out. WHile I was there Grant would blast me and many other in group and claim a whole bunch of stuff and come to find out after I graduated that while I was there he got a dui and had to be restrained by the police and was having an affair with someone who worked there.

I was always on bans with my good friends there for a number of false and stupid reasons and just did what I could to make it through the place. I unfortunately did not turn 18 when I was there and had to endure the whole stay of 18 months. I found the whole program to be rediculous.

And having read many things about how this is an offspring of CEDU and the other schools, I can see the similarities and the mind control or behvior modifications that they try to instill and force upon the kids there. Issues were forced upon me in group and workshops and I was put on programs and giving absurd writing assignments that I just had to figure out what the advisor wanted me to write.

I have not really kept much in contact with how the school is now or what they do now, i graduated over 4 years ago. I have many long talks/arguments with my mom still about me being sent there and she keeps in contact with moms who had kids in my peer class there and many of them agree that carlbrook did not really help their kids or prepare them. Carlbrook is way too much of a controlled environment and could never prepare the kids there for experiences they will face in the real life. I just found it very hypocritical and contradicting and I hated the way the older kids who had sold out to the system called out other kids and exerted this fake authority that the school gave them to further gain their trust. It was a system of manipulation through obidience of their rules.

It seems to me parents are given half-truths about the school during their visits and in talks beforing enrolling.. I do not think any parents realized what their kids would go through. I have seen many of the posts from people who have been to Carlbrook, some when I was there, and are happy and grateful to have been there and can only find good things to say about it. The different reactions and experiences of kids there are polar opposites- either they loved it and are grateful for it or they hated it and felt like they were trying to be brainwashed or controlled. I think that if you got a lot out of it and are happy with yourt experience, then thats great but I think many people were dissatisfied, to put it lightly, with their time there.

To parents who are thinking of sending their kids away: Think about being woken up by two huge, strange dudes at 4 in the morning and being taken to the airport with no idea of where you are going. Then all of a sudden you are in the woods being stripped searched and then sent out into the woods for an X amount of weeks before you are shipped off to this boarding school for 15-20 more months. Limited contact with parents and I couldnt ever talk to my friends or send them letters because my advisor would not let me. They train the parents with what to say, telling them that their kid will just try to manipulate their way out of the school and that everyone deserves to be there. They always made us feel like we had to be there or else we would end up dead or even more fucked up than we already were.

The lessons they teach about love and how that is what is most important in the world and how much power love has, those lessons are very powerful and true. Love really is the missing thing that this world needs to come together. I also found "there is only now" and "friends are the family you get to choose" to be great tools for life and something i did find relevant. But the thing about Carlbrook is those great messages are lost among the bullshit that they spit to you in groups and other settings and the stupid control they try to hold over all the kids there and the unnecessary humiliation and extremes that they go to.

Sources:

Sunday, July 14, 2013

LK at Carlbrook School

This story was originally written on the message board called the Fornits Home for Wayward Webfora. All rights goes to the original author LK

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Carlbrook School was awful. I graduated from there in 2008. Just last night, my boyfriend (who also went to Carlbrook) and I both had nightmares about it.

They were psychologically manipulative beyond belief. No, there were no gates or guard dogs, but they emotionally trapped you; they promised us that if we ran, we would be shot/captured/raped by rednecks ("Deliverance" references were made repeatedly) or that the police would get us and that our parents would get extended custody of us until we were 21.

The workshops were so messed up...we had to attend our own funerals and write our own obituaries and tell our friends that they should die (all on staff orders). We had to talk about the most disgusting and traumatic things in our lives (most involved sexual disclosures or abuse) every week. We were shouted at by staff and students about how foul, gross, unforgivable, and unwanted we were. We were "broken" down until they convinced us that we hated ourselves, even if we didn't.

Later on in my stay, I was a student support for one of the therapeutic workshops and saw the scripts (every workshop was scripted and formulaic; they had perfected the art of screwing with kids' heads) and one section actually read "Next, turn off the lights, play Track 05, whisper in their ears, and break them. Break them until they are on the floor. Once all of them are crying and/or screaming, play Track 06."

Carlbrook School was traumatic. You are brainwashed. I didn't believe in brainwashing until I got out of Carlbrook and realized that what they did to me was NOT okay, it was NOT normal. I am still dealing with the psychological conditioning to this day. My parents understand now that it was a mistake to send me there.

Grant Price is insane. He is very my-way-or-the-highway and makes no effort to actually get to know you or help you. Justin Merritt takes no part in his creation; he stands in the background and feigns ignorance as the staff mess with the kids. The advisors are incompetent and cruel. The only staff that actually are about the kids are the Securitas staff (who are often fired for becoming "too attached to the kids" -- they're fired as soon as the other staff notice that they're worried about how inhumane the place is. The Securitas are responsible for patrolling the dorms at night and working Suspension, which is where you sit in a desk and are not permitted to move or talk without express permission. You must keep your head straight and cannot look at anything besides your desk, talk to anyone, get up, etc. You can be "in suspension" for anywhere from one day to 9 MONTHS. The average is about 2 or 3 months) and some of the teachers (though the male teachers at that place definitely have inappropriate relationships with the girls -- nothing physical happens, but they develop very close friendships with the girls (who are ages 15-18) and have private meals with them and cross many boundaries in terms of talking about their sex lives and that type of thing.

Andy Coe, in my opinion, was actually really wonderful. He was one of the few adults there that I trusted (other than the English teacher and an advisor/former student named Sally Martin). However, I want to know more about how he was allegedly duplicitous, as I wonder if I was duped.

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Sunday, June 9, 2013

A stay at the Carlbrook school

This story was originally written on the message board called the Fornits Home for Wayward Webfora.

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I have looking at this forum for many months now. I have read many comments of haters and lovers of Carlbrook.

I chose to leave Carlbrook as soon as I could, shortly after turning 18. I would say it helped me mainly in one thing, it helped me make friends. I didn't have any friends at home and making friends at Carlbrook is what turned me around. A lot of people are talking about whether people needed to be there, stating sarcastically that you were doing well in school, had good relationships with your family, and never touched drugs or alcohol. Actually, I fit all the criteria above. I was not sent away for substance abuse, harming myself physically, or any other extreme things.

As I was told, I was sent away for being depressed after I had recently lost both my parents. I did not need any of the limitations of Carlbrook. When I first came home, I was not able to say that Carlbrook attempted to brainwash me, but I easily was able to say they tried to manipulate me. I was constantly threatened with suspension. After my first term at Carlbrook, I accumulated the highest GPA in the school. I was immediately ridiculed for this saying that since I had done so well, I obviously wasn't doing my therapeutic work and was using it as a distraction. This came from other students, my advisor, other staff, and even administrators!

Well I'm sorry, but I was told that Carlbrook was not categorized as a Therapeutic Boarding School, but as Tim Brace said many a times, it is listed under a college-preparatory boarding school. I have always done well in school and according to Carlbrook's prerequisites, having a high GPA is mandatory. If it is mandatory to even be accepted into Carlbrook, then accumulating, per say a 4.0 every term would be a piece of cake. But instead, people don't pride themselves on accumulating a GPA that prestigious schools would accept, but rather that they are not failing. Obviously, if someone has accumulated a high GPA in their stay there simply because Carlbrook's academics do not demand an adequate rigor, then they must not be doing something right and hence forth, that person shall be given a "game" in which they run their day, "business mode."

In groups, people would constantly tell me how sad I should be that both my parents have passed, with my mother passing only a few months before I was sent away. They made me create anxiety when there was none existing. I had social anxieties (remember, no friends) not anxiety that my life would never get better. My advisor put me on an action plan around my amicitia workshop. This actually helped me the most. Through the course of this seven week action plan, I was able to realize that the manipulated crap that was forced into my head was so ridiculous. Shortly after my action plan, I told my advisor that I didn't think I needed to be at Carlbrook anymore and that I would do not just fine at home, but exceptional. She immediately engaged on the attack. She brought up that by not going through animus, I would not have any ambition. Was she joking? I was a good kid at home and never did anything to harm myself or harm those I care about. Everything I did was though through and my decisions were based on valid logic. I actually have a hatred for impulsivity and making decisions on emotions alone. It is so ignorant and so blind sided stupid that anyone that does do it obviously has a lot of issues. I don't care if you were raped, did drugs, had significant losses in your life, or had any other discretional experiences, using your emotions to make choices for you will inevitably harm yourself and harm other people. However, at Carlbrook, this was not only accepted, but encouraged.

During a team building group, I was attacked by both the advisors and many of the students for mentioning someone being raped. The context was in a hypothetical exercise where we had to come up with reasons that a woman was a young single woman with a kid who was pretty old. I mentioned how she could have been raped and had the kid. This girl stood up during the group and literally screamed in my face how it was completely disrespectful. I did not find anything wrong with what I had said and still do not. But this girl was crazy! She told people that she wanted 9 children! One that is ridiculous! Two, she was 16 at the time! She told people that she wanted to have her first kid by the time she was 20. She could barely take care of herself and the thought of some hormonal teenager bringing up kids of her own was disgusting. I thought originally that these were some of the problems that she entered Carlbrook with. But I was wrong; these were the ideas that she had after starting Carlbrook. Carlbrook continuously uses parenthood as a therapeutic tool. During animus returns, people are always screaming how they want to be a father, or they want to be a mother, and they want to have this many kids and they’re going to treat them well. What is this place teaching them! The average age at Carlbrook is 16 and they’re preparing them for parenthood! They shouldn’t be ready to have kids at 16 unless this is Shakespearean times and even then, having a 12 year old Juliet is still pretty weird! You don’t need to be ready to be a parent. I don’t know anyone who said that they were completely ready to have kids when they eventually had their first born. You learn through time and experience, not by screaming on some stairs how you want 12 kids so they can live their life through you and accomplish all the things that you couldn’t do because you were a raging cocaine addict and no one would hire you.

Suspension was one of the most disgusting things I have ever witnessed. It reminded me of wrongly convicted prisoners. Obviously Carlbrook didn’t physically touch anyone unless a student became physical, and even when I was there, I never witnessed that. The only physical thing that Carlbrook does is gives hugs, but that could get annoying after awhile. Instead, Carlbrook played the mental battle. Similar to the wilderness program, they start you off with nothing. By doing certain things and people obviously seeing these things, you get rewards. You get tea and hot chocolate when you become a DHIT (dorm head in training), coffee when you become a dorm head, bottom bunk when you become a DHIT, an extra student store (candy and soda) by joining certain committees, etc. I only have three problems with this form of rewarding manipulation. First, some of these things shouldn’t be a reward. I mean come on, you have to work to have tea? That is ridiculous.

Second, Carlbrook attacked external validation constantly. However, obviously it works different if Carlbrook is the one giving the validation in the form of hot drinks and candy. As long you play into Carlbrook’s hands, and then you will be rewarded. But, if you have retained your individuality and your own thought process, you will not see these rewards and you will watch as your friends move up in hierarchy while you stay down, because you are doing things poorly. The final reason is because you don’t get these positions for doing the best, but you get them because people like you and people see you doing it. For example, during my stay at Carlbrook, I wrote 5 proposals and even when I was about to go into upper school, I still had not become a DHIT. Did I deserve these positions, of course I did. Did I put in the work? Of course. Why didn’t I get the positions? Because other people did things with the intention of getting these positions while I just did it because I felt like it was the right thing to do. For example, in keeping a “safe” dorm, I would talk to my dorm mates in my dorm all the time casually. I kept a safe dorm. But other people would purposely go into the hall and have a formal appointment and make sure people saw them. That is the difference. I was not concerned with people seeing me, I was concerned with helping my roommate who was having a hard time. But because I did this, people saw nothing. Another example would be upper school classmen trying to get on the DCOM (Disciplinary Committee). With that committee, you are selected, you do not write a proposal.

Every person on the campus “holds people in standard,” but with them, they will make sure they get the entire room’s attention so everyone knows that they are doing this. For instance, I was in math class and a kid didn’t wear a belt that day. He was already on DCOM but just wanted to show people that he could do things. He stood up in the middle of class, disrupted the teacher, and told the kid to stand up. He asked him why he wasn’t wearing a belt and he said he forgot to put one on in the morning. The DCOM member then told him that “as a consequence for taking away from the class,” that he erase the white board. Is he freaking serious!!! I thought that was a sarcastic joke when I saw this, after only being there for a few weeks. Obviously, from any other person who has not yet been brainwashed by Carlbrook, this person disrupted the class to “hold someone in standard” because they were taking away from the class by not wearing a belt. Then, individually, people in the class thanked him for holding him in standard saying that he was brave for doing that. They were just glad that class could be disrupted and for the few minutes that this whole situation took, they didn’t have to learn anything (going back to my point earlier of people who lacked ambition-most of these people were upper school classmen who have been there for over a year. They relied on Carlbrook’s way of living and this means that school is not a priority, as long as you attend, you are fine. In fact, as I mentioned earlier, my first full term there where I got the highest GPA in the school, a few other people who were young in the school, actually younger than me got on Dean’s List (having a 3.75-4.0). A few upper schoolers were proud if they got honor roll (3.5-3.74). But the majority were surprisingly ecstatic if they pulled off a 3.0.

I went on a little tangent but there is a lot of energy towards this subject. As I was saying earlier, suspension was the controlling force at Carlbrook. For those who are reading that may not know what suspension is, I will try my best to describe it. Suspension is referred to one’s suspension stay while sometimes also referred to the suspension room in the downstairs commons building. The suspension room to the eyes of an outsider looks like a classroom with desks, a small television set in the front, and a teacher’s desk in the back facing away from the three double doors which line the side of the classroom. The girls bathroom is also located in the suspension room and is shared by suspension students (but they must knock first). When you are in suspension, you are on bans with the entire school except for appointments and if you are in ISS (In School Suspension) on other bans that are determined by your advisor. The most common bans for people in suspension is lower school bans. If you are in ISS, you must return to the suspension room for lunch during the school day and you are also on bans with action planners and other suspension students. As for being in the room, 7am-10pm for out of school suspension students (minus school time for ISS students), you can only ask four types of questions a day:
  1. Can I use the bathroom?
  2. Can I get a drink of water?
  3. Can I access my backpack?
  4. An emergency health question.
All other questions must be written on a piece of paper which are collected during meal times. In addition, if you use the four questions frequently (like more than once every two hours), you are written up and it is used against you to keep you in there longer. Also, every day you are late to the suspension line in the morning, you must stay in there another day. On Saturday and Sunday, you see a movie in the suspension room (same one each day), usually one that is self-motivating. For example, I saw Finding Forrester like 4 times when I was in there. It was nice to have something to kill time. When suspension students travel together, they travel in a single filed line and are not permitted to look up or look at anyone. They are given an hour to exercise on Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday, and Sunday. They are also permitted to have a 45 minute appointment with someone once a day during the school week and twice a day on the weekend. This room is a prison without bars. It locks you out of just another prison, the school. The school does not have fences or walls. The only thing that keeps you there is knowing that if you leave before you are 18, “then you will go back to the woods.” Actually, the school has no legal right to send you back to the woods without the parental consent. But even if the parents tell them that under no circumstance are they to be sent back to the woods, the school will still threaten the student with the woods as a form of manipulation.

All I have to say to anyone who any parents who are considering sending their child to Carlbrook is to understand the ramifications of that decision. You are probably thinking that you are willing to put your child in such a place to help them and it is probably not as bad as everyone on this forum and a multitude of other websites make it out to be, but I assure you, it is! Anyone who says otherwise has not yet realized that they have been brainwashed. If you choose to look at the school or if you have done so already, you will be impressed by the seemingly beautiful campus and facilities. Don’t trust it. There is a reason why Carlbrook is so expensive. Most of their money goes to pay for the cover up of this brainwashing facility. They say that they’re a new school which may explain why kids are forced to live in trailers while they are there, but seriously, it takes less than seven kids enrollment to add up to a million dollars. There is a reason why Carlbrook is under Troubled Teen Industry, because that is exactly what it is, an industry. You will talk to Tim Brace and other administrators at Carlbrook and they will tell you all these good things about Carlbrook along with other lies. They will attempt to manipulate you because they believe you are not aware of what really goes on there. That is why I am writing this, to give people a fair chance before they make a decision based on ignorance. Please listen to me before you make the wrong choice!

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Sunday, May 12, 2013

A stay at Carlbrook school and Oakley School

This story was originally written on the message board called the Fornits Home for Wayward Webfora.

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To anyone who believes that Carlbrook "saved" them, or that anyone who speaks out against it "didn't get it" or is "clearly still fucking up"--

In total, I attended two wilderness programs and two therapeutic boarding schools, one being Carlbrook. I was sent away initially for using marijuana, skipping school, and just generally being irresponsible. I am the type of person who learns lessons the hard way. I went through wilderness, and then arrived at Carlbrook. I was determined to give it a try, get through the program, and move on with my life. After six months, though I was only fifteen and did not know anything about what is 'appropriate' and 'inappropriate' in a therapeutic sense, I knew that something was not right. I asked to be sent anywhere else, not even home just any other program, but the school instead restricted my access to my parents and put me on a disciplinary action program. I had been raped at fourteen and was told alternately that it was my fault and that it was not my fault, and that if I did not successfully comply with the program, it would happen to me again. I was made to tell another boy who had molested his sister that I forgave him for what he had done, by way of forgiving my rapist, which I was in no way prepared to do anyways, and this boy had nothing to do with what happened to me. I know now that this is all incredibly inappropriate for someone struggling in the aftermath of sexual assault. I was informed that my drug use and behavioral issues all stemmed from "daddy issues" and convinced that I had said "daddy issues", which alienated me from my father. My father is a loving, caring man that was wrongfully blamed by Carlbrook for my problems. Carlbrook seemed to believe that all behavioral issues stemmed from some deep-seated childhood wrongdoing, and pushed/pressured teens to the point of admitting things that never happened. I watched it happen many times. Sometimes, yes, teens with behavioral issues do have serious repressed trauma, but this is NOT the standard.

I was placed on suspension for not "being on the plan", while struggling to understand what that meant, as I had not broken any actual rules, or "standards", as they were called. In suspension we were forced so sit facing forward in a separate room from 7 am until 10 pm, and we were not permitted to talk or look at anyone else. We were taken outside for an hour every day. If you raised your hand and asked to go to the bathroom or get water more than once every two hours, you were written up, and made to stay on suspension for longer. I finally made it off suspension and into good standing by becoming completely fake, as being myself did not cut it there. They were looking for a cookie-cutter kind of result, instead of kids who are really working and struggling to find out who they are and why they have done the things they do. Because I was completely fake and just going through the motions, I began breaking rules that I found stupid, like the school's system of "bans", where you cannot speak or look at certain people for various allotted reasons. I had been put on bans with all of my closest friends. I began to develop a romantic relationship with a friend who was struggling, which was NOT allowed (though an unreasonable expectation among teenagers, this is the standard of many treatment programs. While there are good reasons for it, it is unrealistic to think you can ask a teenager to ignore the opposite sex for a year and a half). We did nothing more than kiss. He was put on suspension and interrogated about any rule-breaking, and I lied my ass off to get into suspension with him. (Young love.. very stupid) After a year at Carlbrook, I was kicked out after leaving a group where I watched several people I cared about being told that they were worthless (the girls were called whores, the boys monsters and drug addicts) by both the owner and fellow students, some of them also my friends. I got up and walked out of the room, and was removed from the school and immediately send to another wilderness. My parents were told nothing about my removal from the school, just that I had not "complied with the program", and Carlbrook made it appear as though I had done something truly terrible, not just kiss someone and walk out of a group.

After my second wilderness, I attended the Oakley School. I will not pretend that it is perfect in any way, but going to Oakley really showed me how wrong Carlbrook's tactics are. At Carlbrook, they use an unrealistic setting where teens cannot make the mistakes they will most certainly make/face in the real world, incredibly aggressive therapy, inappropriate scare tactics, and students learn that the only way they will avoid being screamed at and avoid getting in trouble is to employ the same tactics that the staff use on their fellow students, to get them first and bandwagon. At first at Carlbrook, you work out of fear to save yourself, until it becomes second nature and you fail to see the pain you inflict on your fellow students. Anyone who does not fully comply, who is not afraid, is eliminated as quickly as possible. This is not to say that the students enrolled are not intelligent-- in fact, for the most part they are, and this helps the school in that students soon realize the path of least resistance and flock to it. There are five therapeutic workshops in the process-- I went through the first three and know the details and processes of the last two. They are meant to tear you down and build you back up, rendering you, essentially, as others have said, dependent on the program. I would love to believe that I could have made it through the entire program without succumbing, but from what I have seen from some of the kids who my closest friends at the school-- that is not realistic. Sure, many of them go on and continue to use and party, but there is something still something different about all of them. This is not a positive difference, and many of them still seem totally dependent on the school in a way, constantly referencing it, etc. Its as if they have been brainwashed-- this may seem like a complete exaggeration, but I don't believe it is. I successfully attended the Oakley School, made many, many mistakes, which the program allowed for, and still made it out. I now attend a tier one college with an excellent GPA, I am in a stable, loving relationship that began at Oakley (we've been together for two years), and there is no rehab in sight for me. At Carlbrook, I was told college was not an option, I was not able to figure out how to have a healthy relationship, and I left quite possibly worse than I started (as demonstrated by my drug use IMMEDIATELY following leaving the school).

I urge any parent considering sending their child to Carlbrook-- PLEASE consider other options. There are many. Make sure you choose a certified school, and choose a therapeutic boarding school over an RTC, if possible. Absolutely NOTHING positive awaits your child at Carlbrook, and you may never hear of the damage done, as many kids are too afraid to tell their parents the truth.

If you still decide to consider it, at least evaluate the program thoroughly, and understand what you are sending your child through (you should do this for any program) Here is the most accurate account of the workshops, etc, that I have found:
(The page is refering to Fornits Wiki)

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