- What is your name? (Only give what you’re comfortable giving, i.e. Full name, first name, initials, first initial and last name. If you choose to use your full name, please include maiden name in addition to your current, legal name.)
Sarah <name to be found in source> - Time spent (give dates to best of your ability) in The Home:
May 15, 2004 -July 3, 2005 - Which location?
Pace, FL - What was The Home called when you were there/what name was the institution going by during the time of your stay? (i.e. Rebekah Home for Girls, New Beginnings Rebekah Academy, New Beginnings Girls Academy, New Beginnings Ministries. Multiple answers may be necessary.)
New Beginnings Girls Academy - Who were the head directors at the time?
Bill "Brother Mac" McNamara and Jennifer "Mrs. Mac" McNamara - How old were you?
I was 17 when I got there, 18 when I left. - Please describe reasons/circumstances for which you were sent to The Home: (i.e. trouble with the law, issues at home or school, etc.)
I had quit going to school about 4 months prior to being sent there and was hanging out with a rough crowd. I was supposed to be doing this homeschool program that my mom got me enrolled in but I never did it. I was gone all the time with my friends and had started to experiment with drugs and alcohol and didn’t really care about where my life was going. There was one incident where I got in trouble with the law and I think that pretty much was the breaking point for my mom. She knew that I needed help and that she couldn’t give it to me because I would not listen to her anymore. So she decided to send me to New Beginnings to finish high school and get my life straightened out. - Please describe instances of abuse you EXPERIENCED at The Home, if any:
I personally was never physically abused while there. There was mental abuse that went on all the time. Scare tactics were used, and we were yelled at all the time and called “whores” and various other names. If they thought that we weren’t "right with God" then they would put us on Discipline (a major punishment) for no reason other than that. We had to be happy all the time and feel like we were being helped by them, if we weren’t then we would be "openly rebuked," called names, and denied privileges. - Please describe instances of abuse you WITNESSED at The Home, if any.
There was a little girl with serious mental health problems. She was about 12 when she came in and was on a bunch of medication for her problems that she truly needed. They took her off all meds and said they could help her better than the medicine. She always looked like she didn’t know what was going on and she didn’t understand why they were treating her the way they did. I remember one time where myself and other girls and staff members were made to stay up with her until about 4 in the morning and force her to stand in a circle of masking tape on the floor. If she got out of the circle or didn’t comply then we had to push her back in. If she kept misbehaving then we had to put her into an ice cold shower with all her clothes on while she screamed. She was always in trouble and yelled at for no reason at all. You could tell that there was something wrong with her and that was not the place she needed to be. She couldn’t even talk that well and we could barely ever understand what she was saying sometimes. They pretty much just treated her like crap and blamed her for it because she wasn’t “right with God" according to them. It was awful and I felt very bad for her.
There were two girls that I graduated with who were forced to get a tan before graduation. They were told that they were too “white” and that was a sin because being white was something that “gothic” people did. They wanted to talk to their parents about it but the directors would not let them tell them. They were made to stay outside during practically the whole time we were in school for, I'd guess, 6 hours a day with tanning oil all over them while we could see them out the window. I remember looking out there and feeling bad for them because they did not want to get a tan but they had no choice. They tanned until they were burnt and their knees were purple and they had huge blisters. The tanning did not stop until a few days before graduation.
I remember one incident where we were at church and we stayed there after the service was over and Brother Mac had all the girls stand up one by one and the rest of the girls got to raise their hands and vote if that person was “negative” or “positive." The people who were “negative” got punished. They gave them 4 sheets of toilet paper when they used the bathroom, took away all condiments from their food, and had to drink only water with meals and made them stand at their bunk beds with their nose touching the bar at the end every night until 11pm, (an hour and a half to two hours after Lights Out,) and they also took away all extra privileges. They were told that they weren’t right with God and rebuked often. The people who were considered “positive” got nothing. We just had to watch the “negative” people suffer. It was messed up.
If someone tried to run away or just couldn’t take it anymore and didn’t obey their rules, the directors would have other girls in the home sit on them or hold them down. They would be locked in the dorm for days, even weeks, and had to be constantly watched by the more "trusted" girls They pretty much did whatever it took to restrain them. Some of them just got fed up and refused to do anything because they were tired of being treated like crap and after so long they got to go home or got sent to other homes.
In the dorm, we were always rushed to be ready on time, trying to make our way through 20 other girls to get ready. It was stressful. We had to iron our clothes and they could not have any wrinkles in them or we would get in trouble. We were timed when we ironed and that resulted in us rushing to get it done and trying not to have any wrinkles and we would burn ourselves often. If we burned ourselves a lot, we would get in trouble for that also (they'd say we were hurting ourselves on purpose) and they would take away our curling irons/flat irons, and someone else would have to iron for us and that would result in them being late and getting in trouble. There was always something to get in trouble for. It would be the stupidest thing like looking around in line or just talking or something stupid like that. It was hard not to get in trouble. It was horrible and everyone was always scared, even some of the staff. - Do you feel that you witnessed or experienced any discrimination for race, faith, or any other characteristic or persuasion? If so, please explain.
I remember people being insulted for their sexuality. If they were gay they were called "faggots" and told they were going to hell. - What was your overall impression of The Home? Do you believe that it helped you?
My overall impression of the home is that it was a mentally and physically abusive facility. It was a complete waste of time and money. It put me in a place where I really was not happy (but had to pretend to be) and I tried to do everything that they wanted me to so I could hurry up and get out of there. The rules were crazy and extreme and nothing the average person would think is right. Nobody deserves to be treated like that and almost all of us would have been happier in jail. At least we could have thought for ourselves and kept our own beliefs. We weren’t even allowed to talk. When someone just nit picks and looks at every single fault someone has then there is going to be problems. No one is perfect and that is definitely what they expect you to be, which is humanly impossible. I do not believe that it helped me at all. If anything it made me worse than before I was sent there. I now suffer from panic disorder and generalized anxiety disorder, and many others girls that went there also suffer from various kinds of disorders as well. - What is your opinion of the quality of education you received while in The Home?
I would say that the education we received while in the home was very poor. It was the A.C.E. (Accelerated Christian Education) curriculum and you had to do these workbooks called PACEs and teach yourself. There were no real or qualified teachers and no really one cared if you learned anything or not. Some of the girls (including myself) and some who weren’t doing well in school would be called outside to work all day during school hours and never really made up any work for the time they missed. - How old are you now?
24 - What was it like being released into the “real world” after your time in The Home?
It was pretty awkward. None of my friends recognized me because I had lost 60 pounds while in there. It was strange to be “normal” again and it took a while to get used to it. - What is your current profession?
I am a stay-at-home mom. - What affect did The Home have on your faith, if any?
It really didn’t change what I believed (even though you had to believe exactly what they believed while in there to get by) but it definitely made me sick of being yelled at all the time about things that don’t make sense, always being made to feel like you are “wrong” and a bad person, and need to "get right."
The facility was founded on methods used in the so-called Roloff homes established in Texas in 1970s. The authorities’ interest in the horrible conditions at these homes forced the operations out of state and in the end former employees established their own extreme religious boarding schools. New Beginning and whatever changing name they put behind it to make the authorities lose track of them when they move across state-lines was founded by former Roloff employees.
Sources:
- The original testimony on StopNBGA
- Factsheet about the facility (Fornits Wiki)
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